On Complete Transparency

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

Never has a verse been so powerful in my life. Though I didn't spend much time on it until (what I hope was) the climax of our tough season had passed, I feel like this is my new life verse. I would really like to share how Jesus has moved in our lives these past few months and how our family is now changed because of His blessings.

The biggest and most obvious blessing in our lives is our son, Daxton. We had been working on our marriage for a while and had really gotten to a good place and decided we wanted a baby. I went to see my OB and about a month later, I went back for my verification appointment! Throughout my pregnancy, I doubted if we were ready, questioned if we had rushed into our decision. My husband was always ready to reply that God obviously thought we were ready or we wouldn't be pregnant. That always put so much peace in my heart. A blessing within a blessing, Daxton wasn't due until the end of racing season. Literally, the very last day of racing season. My husband missed the last two races to stay home on baby watch, and my whole family was able to fly out in time to be there when Daxton was born (my dad arrived 5 hours before we went to the hospital!). Blessing in that was that we had round the clock help for the first few weeks since my mother-in-law came right after my mom left, two weeks after Dax was born.

A blessing in disguise: my husband lost his job a week and a half after Daxton was born. His team shut down and he was back on the market, looking for jobs, along with that entire team, when most jobs had been filled. My husband was out of work for two months, and we had a newborn! Our families were so instrumental in our survival during that time. Our friends rallied to bring us meals and would come help us whenever we needed it (I'm looking at you, Twin!). Our Pastor unknowingly delivered sermons week after week that renewed our hope and faith that God was working on something great in our lives. (Shameless plug: check out the Christmas Eve sermon from Elevation Church titled "Learning Hope the Hard Way"http://elevationchurch.org/sermons/learning-hope-the-hard-way/) My husband and I realized that God was chopping us down to our roots, pruning our lives, so that we would have room for new growth, for the new opportunities God would provide as we raise our son to be a Christ follower. We had been cut down to a stump, and we were just praying that a shoot would rise from our roots and bear fruit (Isaiah 11:1-4). We prayed as a family, individually, and each with our son.

I never truly understood the power of offering until this time. At the end of the year, our church challenges us to give sacrificially, separate from what we tithe, to aid in the expansion and growth of the church. Leading up to this offering, my husband and I would discuss what we wanted to give. We had concluded we would comfortably sacrifice a percentage of our savings without bankrupting ourselves. Well, the good Lord thought we could be challenged further. When the time came, our savings was almost depleted and we weren't receiving any income (my maternity leave was a permanent leave). My husband and I have a box on the mantle that we throw loose change and extra cash in for date nights and further dream vacations. We said that whatever was in the box was what would go to the church. That would pretty much be everything we had, save what we needed for bills, rent, and gas/groceries. There was $90 and it all went to the church. I couldn't help but think of the Poor Widow's Offering (Luke 21:1-4). A few weeks later, my husband got a job with a great team, some of whom even attend our church. He is going to be home more, his hours will be more predictable, and he was making what he was making before. On his first day, I prayed with Daxton that Dad would love his job and be excited to go to work everyday. That night, as we were getting in bed, Stephen looked at me and said, "Is it weird that I'm actually excited to go to work tomorrow?" I became so emotional and I knew that God had truly done something wonderful in our lives.

The last blessing I want to write about is that because of how God worked in our lives, I am able to stay home with my son. It will be tough, but it makes the most sense. For the first year of Daxton's life, while he breastfeeds and is still learning about the world, I will guide him as his mom. After the first year, I will probably be eager for a job, but Dax won't get much socially his first year and feeding/nursing would be too difficult. Also, I would have to make double what I was before to really make it worth the price of childcare. And that's if we can find a good place with an opening! Staying at home is going to be a positive challenge for me, but I will be there for his first steps, his first words, his first foods, his first tooth.

Because of how God has generously given to my family, I am going to spend this year giving back. I've had it on my heart for a while to get involved in leadership in the church. I highly doubt God sent me to a four-year Christian university to take so many Bible classes for nothing. He was working in my life even then. This year, I have decided to focus on the path I want to walk in the church. I have began to serve, I am starting a small group (eGroup), and I have my sights set even higher. I know God wants to use me, and I am going to Focus my Fight ("Work Your Window") on the church.

-T