On a DIY Dreamy Woodland Nursery

10 months ago, my husband and I found out we were expecting an adorable bundle! Naturally, my DIY, creative mind automatically began to draw illustrations in my mind of what this little one's nursery would look like. I had a direction for a girl, and one for a boy. These visuals were absolutely nothing like what I had imagined for my child's nursery growing up. I used to want a vintage Winnie the Pooh theme, or a parisian Madeline-esque nursery. I went through a phase semi-recently in which I wanted to name my daughter Eloise and do a whole Eloise at the Plaza thing. Somehow, I completely forgot all previous notions and we decided on a woodland/camping/outdoors-y theme. I made a "lookbook" (a medium sized poster board with pictures and paint chips and wood stains), and began my DIY nursery journey (Hubby and I had a blast painting the room together, 8 paint samples later!).

DISCLAIMER: I am not wealthy, nor do I have a large toolshed. I completed this nursery for about $170. This does not include large ticket items that were purchased for us like the crib, rocking chair, and all that goes with it. 

 
1. Monogram Wall Piece: When I found out I was pregnant, I went in search of a chalkboard for bump pics. I found a mirror I wanted to paint for $8. When I got home, the mirror started cracking. I took a hammer to it and found the beautiful, dark wood panels behind it. I found these metal letters at Michael's for $2 each. I added 3 screws and hung the letters.
2. Globe: I knew the direction I wanted to go for the nursery, so while my sister visited, we went in search of items. We stopped at Habitat for Humanity. While scouring the aisles, we turned and at the end of an aisle, as if sent from God, this globe was sitting in the middle for $5!
3. Crate: I was given this crate by a friend because staples were falling out. I used small nails and reattached the siding.

4. Side Table: My husband and I got this from Ikea a while ago for $20. It was repurposed.

5. Jacks Bookends: During the same search I went on with my sister, we stopped in a random boutique and I found the (very heavy) jacks for $3 each.

6. Massive Stuffed Wolf: Though it's a little, uhh, big, it is my husband's pride and joy (before the baby was born). We went to the fair while I was pregnant and Stephen's goal was to leave with the biggest stuffed animal he could find. He won it playing a game in which a person had to gently throw a quarter perfectly in a small circle. It took 9 tries, $2.25.

7. Gallery Wall: Okay, this is a big project! These pieces were collected throughout my pregnancy and even from before!

     a. Metal Stars: Hobby Lobby! I used a 40% off on multiple occasions (for many of these items) so I paid about $2.75 each

     b. Frames: All these frames were previously hanging in my office. When the office was converted, so were the frames. I painted the frame with the compass using the same grey paint used throughout the room

     c. Arrows: Another Hobby Lobby find! I knew I wanted arrows, and I went looking for a pre-made piece. I couldn't find anything I really liked, so I decided to get raw wood arrows and stain them. They were $4 each and I already had the stain.

     d. Compass: purchased printable on Etsy $5

     e. Fox: purchased printable on Etsy $3 and then I brush lettered "Stay curious, little fox"

     f. Chalkboard: Habitat for Humanity $3 and painted the edges

     g. Dreamcatcher: $12 at Claire's!

     h. Window: The hubby and I got two of these for $30 when we first moved out here. It's twin is hanging in our entry way! I knew I could use it to write notes, times, and reminders. Our beautiful maternity pictures are framed as well.

     i. Wood Art: I got this from a local specialty store called Poppie's. One of the priciest pieces, I paid $25. But it's perfect!

8. Towel: We were gifted this towel, but I spent $12 to monogram it and add a special touch. 

9. Changing Table Organizer: I found this at one of the most random antique stores on the side of the road one day on my way home from therapy. It was handmade in India, and I scored it for $17.

10. Changing Table: Beginning as a dresser back home in my husband's room in LA, he sanded and painted this grey before moving to Charlotte. It was a dresser in our room, and we moved it into the nursery as a special piece for Daxton. Stephen kept the grey paint, which was used on the pieces in the gallery wall, and then for the accent wall. God gave us just enough to squeeze out enough for the whole wall!
11. Glider: My mom and dad gifted us the glider. I knew I wanted a simple, wood and white/cream one (if baby was a girl, it was going to be an oversized sure white one). I searched and my mom scoured the internet until we found this one which was only available at Walmart for less than $200!

12. Woodland Stuffed Animals: Both of these were gifted to us, but they deserve mention because they really round out the room. They were both from Target, and we still need the raccoon! [UPDATE: We got the raccoon!] (http://www.target.com/p/manhattan-toy-folksy-foresters-bear/-/A-21406437?lnk=rec|slp|search_bought|slp|21406437|0)

13. Mobile: This was the very last piece to go up in the nursery. I completed it the last week I was pregnant. My mom came out about a week and a half before Daxton arrived, and she and I completed this together. We found some similar ones online, got the felt we would need. I drew the shapes, my mom cut them out, and then we sewed and stuffed. The wood slab was also from Hobby Lobby. I drilled holes, 3 for the jute rope on top and 5 for the pieces. We used translucent thread to hang the animals and my husband hung it up! Total=$15

14. Crib: Another gift from my parents. From the beginning, no matter the gender, I knew I wanted this exact style crib. We all loved the Jenny Lind crib in White so much, we got it before anything else! Best part, it was only $200!
15. Crib Bedding: All our crib bedding and the large grey quilt are all from my mother-in-law. She bought us all organic bedding. Rest assured, Daxton is sleeping happily and healthy.
16. Hanging Door Sign: I made this door sign for the hospital. I used two raw wood pieces from Hobby Lobby, stained, painted, glued, and wrote. Voila! Total=about $10

17. Metal Sign: My mom found this sign at a Big Lots in California. Naturally, she called the Big Lots close to me and put one on hold for me to pick up. This was something my mom always said to my sister and I, and now, we each have our own. I chose to put it in Daxton's room because he can look at it everyday and know how much I love him. $9

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On TheBringItOnMom

I have recently been gifted the new life title of mom. I felt that warranted a blog name change; I introduce you to "TheBringItOnMom" by LittleAppellNest. I would like to explain what it is TheBringItOnMom represents.

Eight weeks ago, my son, Daxton Scott, was born on Thanksgiving evening. Eight weeks ago, Monday before my son was born, my husband's NASCAR team dissolved and my husband, Stephen, was without a job. I had finished my job a week before, making a maternity leave permanent. There we were, no jobs and a new baby. Luckily, we had plenty of help from friends and family, and we had enough in savings to get us through. So I said, "Bring it on!"

This all happened during holiday season, so my heart was broken that we were unable to give the way we like to every year. We made do however we could, and I was able to give my son his first Christmas presents, so I said, "Bring it on!"

A month after giving birth, I underwent sinus surgery, which I had needed for about 7 years. There was no way I was waiting any longer! I am glad I did it, but it definitely didn't make life with a newborn any easier. But hey, I said, "Bring it on!"

Daxton was born 10 pounds! Our turkey that we left at home was only one pound more than my baby. Labor was quick and easy (40 minutes and minimal crying/screaming which I will never stop bragging about), but after that, I was SO overwhelmed! Dax barely sleeps during the day and eats CONSTANTLY! And I keep saying, "Bring it on!"

Oh, and Daxton and I had thrush. But whatever, "Bring it on!"

Anyone who has ever had a child can understand how trying that is on your relationships. My friendships, family relationships, and especially my marriage were all put through the ringer. I have to really take care of my relationships and take care of my baby, so you know, "Bring it on!"

On top of it all, I have multiple health problems I'm facing and anxiety that becomes more crippling the more I lose sleep. All these issues do is make everything else I deal with so much harder. But guess what, "Bring it on!"

Throughout these past 8 weeks, or really this whole past year, but especially since the birth of my son, God has been working so diligently in my family. My marriage has grown stronger and we have a wonderful new blessing. It has been so difficult to walk by faith, but now that my husband has found a new job still within his industry, it is so fulfilling knowing God was tearing us down to build us up. Pastor Steven Furtick of Elevation Church gave a wonderful Christmas Eve sermon titled "Learning Hope the Hard Way" (http://elevationchurch.org/sermons/learning-hope-the-hard-way/) which was so encouraging and extremely accurate in our lives at the time. Because I know God so often prunes our lives to make room for new and beautiful growth, I can confidently go through life shouting "Bring it on!"

-T

On the Anxieties of Motherhood

I have come to the realization that motherhood is nothing but a series of small-large panic attacks in between periods of wondering when the next panic attack is going to hit. For someone with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, this is my constant battle. I know my triggers and I know how I should react, but my focus is so easily moved from my own mental health so that I can prioritize the needs of my baby. I forget that my babies number one need is a healthy momma, physically, mentally, and emotionally. There are so many things that a new mom experiences that will set off an anxiety attack.

Uncontrollable Crying
It happens to every baby and new parent. Every new parent has to learn their child's unique needs and how baby shows his needs are not being fulfilled. But what about when you run through "the list" and still have a fussing kid. "The list" is as follows: is baby hungry, dirty, too warm or too cold, gassy, or tired? If you've answered no to all these and your baby is still a wreck, it's pretty easy to become a wreck yourself. Thoughts like, "I don't know what my child needs. I must be a terrible mother," or "Why can I not understand my own child" will cross your mind. You begin to panic because you realize you must have missed a cue and you don't know what to do, but you know you have to do something. So you cry, or yell, or stomp about. Instead, run through "the list" again because you probably forgot something. If that doesn't work, give your partner or a family member a turn trying to figure out what's wrong and walk into another room. I always think of something when I take a step back.

Judgement
This is SUCH a hard one for me. I struggle with allowing myself to feel judged and not caring what anyone thinks. Almost everyone has an opinion about babies. There is something people want to tell you about breastfeeding, or sleep, or diapering, or development, or parenting styles. Either you're holding your baby too much or not enough, or you're feeding him too much or not enough, or you take him out too much or not enough. If I have my baby out in public and he starts crying, I automatically look at how people react, how they judge me. It's torture for myself and completely unnecessary, yet somehow I can't help it. I always said I don't want to be the parent with the loud, annoying, disturbing baby. And tbh, his cry isn't that loud or annoying...it's actually really cute, but I don't really think the person behind me in line at Target or sitting on the bench in the shopping plaza agree. Instead of worrying so much about what others think, I know I should be focused on how I get to make my own parenting choices now and take pride in that. Obviously that's easier said than done.

Breastfeeding
I just wrote a whole post about this one(http://rosemaryandjames.blogspot.com/2017/01/on-what-no-one-tells-you-about.html). Case in point; breastfeeding is the toughest part of being a new mom and will naturally cause a ton of anxiety. I have to say at least half of my meltdowns have been somehow related to breastfeeding. It may not be fun, but it is worth it. When breastfeeding feels like too much, I remind myself that God gave me this ability to provide for my son like no one else can and to not take advantage of it. I don't want to do anything but cherish this time where he needs and wants what only I can give him. Breastfeeding my baby is such an important and special thing that it is important to look at it in a positive light no matter what. I am open and honest with my husband about all my feelings so that he can help me the best he can.

Big Mistakes
I don't want to write about this, mostly due to the "Judgement" section above, but I've made some pretty bad mistakes. I have dropped my phone on his head while he's nursing, almost dropped him while switching sides, and poured too water on his head in the bath that it got all over his face. In those moments, I feel like the absolute worst person on the planet. I feel incapable of raising a child. In those moments, I just hold him and cry and apologize over and over and over. Not that there is anything wrong with apologizing and loving on my babe, I need to also realize that I'm not perfect, and if I truly wasn't capable, God wouldn't have blessed me with a perfect, beautiful, healthy baby boy he deemed me worthy of caring for. If God thinks I am capable, then so should I.

Lists
It's unavoidable. As I sit still nursing, unable to get anything done, I look around the room and come up with lists of things that have to get done. The more I come up with, the more anxious I feel. I never know when I'll get enough free time to actually get anything done. But 100%, I need to focus on my new baby rather than the things that aren't getting done. If the house isn't swept or laundry isn't done, then we will breathe in a little dust and sit around the house without clean clothes for a day. I know that time with an infant is fleeting. Already my LO is almost 8 weeks old, and I cannot believe how quickly time has progressed. I will never be able to get these days back, so I need to be thankful that sweeping isn't so dire that we will all die if it doesn't get done.

Doubt
Self-doubt has been my biggest enemy. Bits of self-doubt have seeped into every aspect of my role as a new mother, and sought to steal my joy in this wonderful time. Anytime I falter, a voice deep in my head tells me I'm doing something wrong or that I don't know what I'm doing. Those moments cause temporary insanity while I try and mentally fight this voice and maintain the exterior of a positive, healthy momma. The best way to combat this is to surround yourself with people you can trust and confide in and to be honest with them. I have some great friends who reassure me I'm doing a great job and that I am capable.

Fear
There are so many things to be afraid of. From SIDS to cancer, to a car stopping too quick just in front of you when your LO is in the back, anything can get you or your child and you have absolutely zero control over that. There are precautions to take, like ensuring your child isn't surrounded with bumpers, blankets, and pillows at night, or living organic to avoid carcinogens and toxins (http://rosemaryandjames.blogspot.com/2016/03/on-living-organic.html), and making sure you have the highest rated and safest car seat possible. Ultimately, God is in control. He will decide when we all live and die and all I can do is try to live my life to fulfill His purpose for me. Proverbs 19:21 reads "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand"(ESV). As long as I remember to focus on that verse, I can work my way out of any panic attack.

Anxiety
Anxiety causes anxiety. Just yesterday, my little nest was driving home, and Daxton was crying uncontrollably. My husband pulled over into a fire station so I could try to calm the baby. We happened to be out of diapers, he was too dirty to be hungry or sleep, and we were still 10 minutes from home. I literally could do nothing to console my baby and I felt such anxiety that I couldn't move past it and instead, became upset and took it out on my husband. When I got home, I cried over Daxton and apologized that I couldn't help him, then I apologized to my ever-loving husband for having such a bad reaction. Sometimes, when you know you're acting a wreck, you get crazier. Instead, own up to your bad attitude and throw a wrench in the cycle. I promise wonderful results.

-T

On Bonding With Your Babe

Reluctantly, I will admit that I am having a very hard time bonding with my baby. We have had seven weeks together, and I can count on one hand the times I have looked at him and realized that he is mine and been able to believe it. It truly saddens me that I feel like my child is a stranger to me after all this time. After so many months(let's be real...years) of anticipation, I was overeager to meet my little man. I would imagine him swinging in his swing while I put away his laundry. I dreamt of a strong, healthy boy who I would be excited to show off to all my family and friends. I never thought I would experience anything but a euphoric excitement and overwhelming joy looking at my tiny bundle. But many moms don't feel this way. Many new moms experience a lack of that bonding feeling, or maybe a sudden fear of everything, or maybe even baby blues. But after so much time waiting, the reality is much more anti-climactic than the dream.

From the beginning, my LO went against everything I had prepared for. He came a few days past his due date, despite my best efforts to help him make an early appearance. He weighed 10 pounds, while I was praying for no more than 8. And he looks EXACTLY like my husband. During my pregnancy, I imagined a little boy who looked like my husband, and that is exactly what I hoped for, but having it actually happen is a lot less rewarding than I expected. From the first pictures that went out of baby until just this morning at the doctor's office, I have been told no less than 200 times that my son is the spitting image of his father. So where does that leave me? I am an olive-skinned Hispanic woman who birthed a white baby with light hair and blue eyes. If there is anything to make you feel disconnected from your child, its definitely not looking anything like him.

How do you bond with your baby? It seems impossible to get to know someone when there is a communication barrier. As someone with strong communication skills, I get easily annoyed that I cannot communicate to my child. That doesn't stop me from trying, though. Breastfeeding is the one thing I can provide for him that no one else can. This is the time that him and I have to spend time just the two of us. Unfortunately, breastfeeding has not been the easiest thing, and getting frustrated is not how I imagine spending our quality time. We play, we read, we do tummy time, we snuggle and it gets better everyday. It really helps when he's fussy and calms when I hold him. Next on our list of activities/attempts to bond: yoga!

After spending this past year in therapy, I have become much more mature emotionally. I am better able to control, manage, and process my feelings and emotions. Because of that, I have not experienced anything more serious than bonding issues. However, if you have, just make sure to openly and honestly communicate your feelings to someone. It is common to feel a bit blue after baby. There is no shame in that if you handle the situation correctly and as soon as possible. If you feel like causing harm to yourself or your baby, please seek help, if not from a professional, than confide in your partner or someone you trust.

-T

On What No One Tells You About Breastfeeding

I wrote this 5 weeks ago and never got around to editing it. So I finally did! Enjoy!

I am a new mom! Only two weeks old, my baby boy and I have a system; he cries and I feed him. But this is a very delicate system that no one could have prepared me for. I am so overwhelmed by the world of breastfeeding, and I know I'm not alone. I hope someone out there will resonate with this article or be able to feel reassured at the fact that breastfeeding is difficult for almost every mom.

1. YOU'RE CONSTANTLY DOING SOMETHING WITH YOUR BOOBS.
Whether you're pumping, hand-expressing, massaging, feeding, applying cream, allowing them to air dry, or even just working out the sore spots, the girls will NOT catch a break easily.

2. THERE ARE COUNTLESS POSSIBLE ISSUES. 
My son has a high palette and I have a flat nipple (TMI?), so getting a strong healthy latch was super difficult at first. I was a mess in the birthing room with a nurse who was trying to help the best she could. Finally a lactation consultant came in and was so helpful on setting us on the right track. unfortunately, my breastfeeding story is not nearly one of the worst ones I've heard.

3. YOU WILL MOST LIKELY CRACK AND/OR BLEED. 
Unfortunately for my little guy and I, we got thrush, so I was in a whole world of pain when I breastfed. I thought I had a bad latch at first, but after watching little guy's mouth turn white and get really dry, I realized the cracking and bleeding was thrush. I was mightily alarmed when I saw the blood after unlatching, and I felt like a terrible mother because I knew I had pushed myself past the line; all the lactation consultants warned me that I needed to stop if it became too painful. Thrush is not always the cause of your pain or discomfort, but there are a ton of reasons your girls could be crying, like you're just pushing yourself too far!

4. YOU WILL TEST YOUR LIMITS. 
But it is important to know your boundaries. After pushing a 10 pound baby out in 40 minutes with a great attitude and minimal crying and screaming, my pain tolerance is a lot higher than I thought. I ended up pushing myself too far and causing myself so much anxiety, which caused a lot more issues, like accidentally feeding when I was hurting which caused bleeding while he was latched. I have never felt worse about myself or the choices I've made than at that moment. I knew I needed serious help.

5. YOU MAY NEED TO RESET YOURSELF. 
Luckily, my family was super helpful while my husband and I adjusted to our new addition. My mother, sister, and father took over one night while my husband and I got ample rest and only woke up a few times to feed the baby. That allowed me to quell my anxiety, start with a positive attitude the next morning, and my supply came back tenfold.

6. IT'S TOTALLY OKAY TO ASK QUESTIONS. 
In fact, it's a lot smarter to ask questions as soon as you think of them and use the lactation consultants if you can. I called on at least four different lactation consultants multiple times, and I still remember so much of what they said to me.

7. #fedisbest.
Don't listen to society's pressure that "breast is best". It was long ago proven that the best way to provide for your LO is to breastfeed. But the pressure that family members, doctors, nurses, and other moms put on you to breastfeed is ridiculously heavy. If you can't exclusively breastfeed, if you can't breastfeed at all, or if you choose to exclusively formula feed, good for you! You're choosing to feed your baby. Formula is SUPER expensive. If you want to spend that money after you've spent a fortune birthing your baby (thank God for insurance!) then it is your choice to do so and no one else's. I remember around week 15 of my pregnancy, my husband and I were waltzing on clouds through the baby aisles at  Target. A woman asked if we were expecting, when we were due, if we knew the gender yet. Then she asked if I was breastfeeding. I thought it was a bit invasive since she was a perfect stranger, but I replied that yes,  I am planning to exclusively breastfeed.  She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Good because breast is best and you want the best for your baby don't you?"  I was a little taken aback, but that set the stage for me to feel the pressure to breastfeed. I wouldn't allow myself to think of any alternatives. I donated the samples of formula I had received in the mail. Then the first night I had my LO home, I found out he was starving.  I would not wish that on anyone. My husband and I began to supplement with formula and I do not regret that decision one bit.  Even now when someone asks me if I am exclusively breastfeeding, I feel the pressure to explain to them my decision for supplementing, when it is no one's business but my little family's.  I was not breastfed (my mom had difficulties) and I think I'm pretty healthy and smart person. I do not resent my mom for not breastfeeding me and I have not had any bad health issues. I know that my son will not grow up and resent me for not exclusively breastfeeding him. Life goes on.

8. YOU'RE BABY MAY STARVE.
I just finished reading an article in which a woman wrote how she accidentally staved her child his first month. She was so concerned about providing the best for her baby that she didn't think that he may not be eating enough. She had issues similar to mine and ended up exclusively formula feeding after two months. She was told that she did better than 99% of other breastfeeding moms. I think any woman is a hero for even trying.  Just remember to make sure that your baby is gaining weight.

9.  IT MAY NOT HAPPEN.
If it doesn't happen for you, it is OK. So many moms struggle, and so many moms feel that there is no out. It is OK to make a decision for your mental, emotional, physical health and formula feed your baby. Your baby needs you happy and healthy more than your baby needs breastmilk. Don't let an issue so small take away from such a joyous time.

Forgive me if this was a bit more graphic than you expected, but these are the realities of life. Some moms have a much more difficult time, like my mother. If you feel society weighing you down, check out the website I found encouragement from: https://fedisbest.org/

-T

On Not Being Prepared for Parenthood

I am a new momma as of Thanksgiving 2016. During my pregnancy, I received a ridiculous amount of unsolicited advice, which I'm sure every mom can relate to. I know most people mean well, but my husband and I would laugh after every person shared their piece. "Little do they know how prepared we are," I would say. "We are the most prepared any two people could be," he would reply. While that may have been true, we were still wildly unprepared for the realities of parenthood.

A quick background; I have cared for children of all ages all my life. I was everyone's babysitter, church volunteer, and child care professional. I worked caring for infants at a small church, so I got to watch so many infants grow, I worked at a daycare and hot experience with children of all ages, and I was a nanny for four kids, one of whom was only three weeks old when I met her and is now two and a half. If there was ever anyone who could be prepared for parenthood without already being a parent, it was me. But if you are a parent, you know there are some aspects of having an infant no amount of time put in will prepare you for. If you are not a parent and you, too, think you are prepared or ready, I promise it isn't all it's chalked up to be.

Because I thought I was so prepared, my husband and I didn't take any classes or read any "parenting" books (we read one each and neither was a traditional "parenting" book). I absolutely do not regret that decision, but my ego was a bit ahead of me. My husband and I have talked for years about the type of parents we want to be and the team dynamic we want to achieve, so we thought we wouldn't encounter many of the problems we hear from parents who would say they had no experience other than their own child. We had discussed issues and problems we would face and come up with solutions as a team, and we thought we were golden. We were wrong on so many levels.

Sleep
We knew that the beginning would be rough in terms of sleep. The most common piece of advice I got as a prego was to sleep when baby sleeps. What I wasn't prepared for was what to do if my baby doesn't sleep. I was blessed with a 10 pounder. In the hospital, there was no pressure to do anything else besides feed my baby until he slept, and I had round the clock help in caring for my new babe. I had the option of sending my little guy to the nursery at night if I chose to. I did both nights I was there, very reluctantly, through tears, and at the command of my husband, doctors, and nurses. Once we got home, it was a chaotic, real-life nightmare. Eventually we got settled, and I realized having a big baby meant he would sleep through the night for the most part. It also meant he would not sleep a wink during the day. I have had to come to terms with the fact that absolutely nothing will get done in my house, which really is not easy for my "git 'er done" personality.

Exclusively Breastfeeding
This is a tough one for me. I was so unprepared for the fact that I would have any difficulties providing for my son. Obviously I get breast is best, but what if you can't BF (gee, society is rough on this one). We have been though latching problems, thrush, dehydration, and he is so big so he is always hungry! I learned that of the joys that comes with having a big baby is that he needed (still needs...who am I kidding) to eat constantly. The first night we were home, no one slept a wink and all I did was feed my baby. As morning snuck closer and closer, baby became more and more irate. Once the screaming started, hubby and I were headed to the hospital. His mouth was so dry and his lips were so cracked. On the way we called a nurse and she told us that he was simply hungry. She said it was 100% better for us to supplement with formula than to take a new infant into a hospital. My husband turned the car around and pulled into Target. I stayed in the car, still trying to nurse my hungry boy. Wouldn't you know, that right then is when my supply fully came in and I was able to support my son. We still have many difficulties with latching, but I know for a fact he is eating enough (he's gained three pounds and three inches) and he is no longer dry or chapped, so I call that a win. We still supplement because if we didn't, I wouldn't have a single moment to myself, but we cap his formula intake around 6-8 ounces a day, and the rest is up to me (I nurse about 4 hours a day).

Public Hearings
My husband and I were completely on the same page about how to handle a loud child when we are in public. We agreed it is always best to remove the child from the public eye and tend to his needs privately. While this is a great policy for an older child who has more control over his emotions, this does not work with a newborn who can only communicate by crying. For the most part, when we hear that first whimper or cry, we begin preparations to seek safety away from the general public (usually we're in Target and we start to head to checkout) and then when it becomes a full cry, I take our little one to the car while my husband checks out so we can head home ASAP. But sometimes we have things that need to get done, or we simply want to enjoy a meal out, we will bypass all our previous beliefs and discussions and give the kid a bottle and change him in the back of our car.

Coddling and Cuddling
We were in complete agreement that we did not want our child to be one of the kids who constantly needed attention or who couldn't be put down for more than a minute. We were adamant that he would not be held to the point that he became too used to it. We have had to completely scrap that. Completely; as in au revoir, sayonara, adios, no más. It was nothing we did, rather it is just his natural predisposition that he likes to cuddle and he will get upset after 20-30 minutes of independent time. My husband and I push it as much as we can, but he is still and infant and we aren't going to just leave him alone on his play mat or in his swing, crying. So we hold him. Maybe that will cause difficulties later on, but whatever. I love my son and I'm going to cuddle the heck out of him.

Schedule
I wasn't expecting for a schedule before 6 weeks, but I was shooting for 4-6. We are now at 7 weeks old and he is showing no sign of sticking to a schedule. We do have a very dependable nightly schedule, but the day is a circus, if that circus was thrown together without a schedule of events and each act tried to take the stage at the same time. I still have to feed my LO on demand, which can sometimes be once an hour! I keep telling myself that he's going through a growth spurt, but if I ever want to get back to writing or calligraphy or anything, we have to establish a schedule soon!

Free Time
Nothing gets done. I was extremely lucky that I had family staying with me in the beginning. My mom was with us for the first two whole weeks and then my mother-in-law stayed for a week. Due to the holidays, I had a lot to do in the way of wrapping and decorating and ordering cards and last minute shopping. It only got done because there was so much help readily available (see more about help below). I genuinely miss being able to do what I want whenever I wanted. I love my son, don't get me wrong, but I miss staying in bed and binging Unbreakable Kelly Schmidt all day. I miss working on a project or going on a run (I haven't been running yet PP, more so because it's too cold to take my LO). Basically, I now have a tiny dictator running my life and I am completely at his beck and call.

Help
Accept it. Don't be smug in your pride and turn down help. There is always something to be done. My husband and I are both very humble and independent and stubborn. We will not ask for help unless we are desperate because we feel that we should carry the responsibility of our child ourselves. Even if help is offered, we ask, "Are you sure?" countless times until that person seems annoyed. If my babe starts to cry and someone is holding him, I feel bad that they have to deal with my struggles while I'm getting to do anything else. When my mom was here, she knew we needed help, so she did our laundry, cleaned our kitchen, did the dishes, and other things I didn't have time for. Anytime someone is holding my LO, I now jump at the chance to throw in a load of laundry or throw some dishes in the dishwasher. I really should invest in a baby wrap...

Products
I was super picky about the products I would use for my son. I wanted only the best, as any mother would. We had loads of Honest diapers, organic washcloths, and minimal items in the way of "sleep gear". After baby was born, there was so much more to buy. We hadn't gotten a Rock 'n Play (HUGE MISTAKE), we didn't have a "cheaters swaddle" (sleep sack, miracle blanket...), and we didn't have a sound machine. We didn't have a bottle or wipe warmer (and in a North Carolina winter, everything gets super cold for night changes). Because our LO was eating so much, he was (is) peeing so much, we went through diapers at an alarming rate. When I went online to finally begin my Honest subscription, I realized I could get twice the amount of diapers for way less if I changed brands. I heard great things about up&up, and our LO doesn't care what's on his tush. I also made the change from Honest wipes (which I don't care for much from the get-go because they're pretty rough) to Huggies Natural Care. No wipe is going to be perfect, but my LO doesn't mind and I can buy a huge pack at once and not worry about it for a while. However, there are things I will not change, like our organic shampoo/wash, lotions, and formula.

Basically, you cannot be prepared for anything unless you've actually gone through it. And I'm the type to hyper prepare! Parenthood is really rough and rocky and really tests the limits of your relationship with your partner and with yourself. I have found myself thinking that it will be easier when he can sit up, or walk, or talk, or go to school, but then I realize I need to enjoy this time now because if there is anything I know for sure about parenting, it's that time is fleeting and these moments are so special. Cherish your baby at every age, every stage, every tantrum. When your child is grown, you'll miss everything they threw at you.

-T
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