On Baby Led Weaning

So I have been receiving a LOT of interest regarding my baby-feeding methods, so I thought I should address it widely for future reference. This is my take and opinion on baby-led weaning (BLW). There are a ton of other sources to get info from regarding this method and other baby-feeding methods. The book I read and will reference is Baby-Led Weaning: The Essential Guide to Introducing Solid Foods and Helping Your Baby to Grow Up a Happy and Confident Eater by Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett.

First, I need to thank Georgia for telling me about this book and then dropping it off at my doorstep. You are so amazing and you've done so much for our little fam! Ah my mind is so excited to talk about this, I feel like this is going to be the most disorganized post, so bear with me. I am going to try to break this up a lot.

BACKSTORY
We started feeding D at 4 months. He was grabbing for our plates and succeeding because he is so dang strong! We knew he wanted food and he wanted to eat with the big kids. So we gave him purees, because that is what I thought we were supposed to do. My father-in-law would joke around asking D if he wanted some of his food when he was hungry and we were all trying to eat and we had to pass D around and eat dinner together. I was horrified at just the thought of a baby getting real food. He can't chew that! While I do think 4 months is too early to have started BLW, I didn't know it was a thing until my friend, Georgia, said something to me about it when D was 5 months, 3 weeks. I COMPLETELY changed my way of thinking and am literally never going back. BLW does not promote purees, but I actually like the way we did it, since D was early on the desire for food and clearly showing all the signs, but his stomach was not ready. I feel the purees was a good way for him to begin to explore taste. We never regarded the purees as a "meal" rather and "adventure". I think BLW is more than a method, it is a mindset.

BABY-LED WEANING?
Okay, so what the heck is baby-led weaning. It is NOT weaning your baby off anything. It is simply weaning your baby onto solid food. The "baby-led" part means that your baby is in control (for the most part). This is a method of introducing solid foods into a baby's life and allowing them to learn to feed their self. So what ever you choose to feed baby, you won't actually feed him. It goes on his highchair (or a plate if you hate yourself), and he can pick and choose what goes in his mouth, hence the term "baby-led". If you put quinoa, banana, and eggs on your baby's highchair and you notice all the banana and eggs are gone, but the quinoa is just there (probably all over the highchair), chances are baby didn't like it. But don't fret, try again! Because baby will keep wanting to explore food, he will keep tasting what you give him. If he continues to refuse quinoa every time you put it down, then he for sure isn't into it. But you know this because HE TOLD YOU. Also, BLW skips the rice cereal. I don't know about you, but I usually prefer Honey-Nut Cheerios to regular Cheerios, or BBQ chips to regular ones. As adults, we crave flavor. A baby is no different. Baby's are born with more taste buds than an adult. If rice cereal is a first food, they will come to learn of flavorless foods and prefer a bland diet. This is how BLW diversifies food for a baby and produces less picky eaters.

BABY EATS WHEN YOU EAT
BLW allows you to eat at the same time as baby so there is no hand-off, first mom eats, then dad eats. This is probably one of my favorite things now. I used to be petrified at the thought of taking D to a restaurant. When we did, we had to bring toys and pray that he wouldn't fuss, because then we would end up holding him in our lap while we tried to eat. In fact, my sister and I once went to Smoke BBQ and had to take turns feeding him while the other ate. She ended up taking him outside so he wouldn't disturb the other patrons. I felt so embarrassed! Now, we put D in a highchair and give him some of our food. Last week, I took D out and asked the server to bring us extra peppers for D to gnaw on. It was perfect! He ate, I ate, we were happy. Also, I love when people are stunned by how well he eats and behaves. When someone asks "Won't he choke, I am more than happy to explain to them that he is equipped with the knowledge to spit out his food once it gets too far back. All babies are. Babies intrinsically know how to latch onto the breast when they are born, just as they know to spit out a piece of food that they cannot swallow. This allows them to learn to chew, a complex motion if you think about it. Watching D learn all of this and figure it out brings my such joy and pride! I look forward to our meals together now. I love being able to eat with my baby. We eat breakfast in the kitchen every morning and lunch and dinner in the dining room. It is our time to spend together and as he gets older, this will already be something he is used to and it will be our norm. We will discuss life and friends and what we are doing/have done that day.

NO PUREES
What do you feed baby? Solids. Not purees. True "what Mama is eating" solids. Baby eats what you eat which allows baby to feel included. There is no mess or planning as there is with making or buying purees. You don't even have to worry about stages. Baby is capable of putting food in his own mouth. Baby will gnaw on whatever you give him. Any pieces that come off will most often be spat out. D has come to be able to chew and suck on his food enough to swallow it, but most of the time he spits it back out. When D eats peppers (I'm convinced these are his favorite) he is able to break apart pieces, but he still doesn't swallow. Choking hazard? Well, apparently babies gag reflex is closer to the front of their mouth when they are born and slowly moves back as they develop. Whether you want to trust/depend on this or not, babies automatically spit out food when they start to gag on it. The gaging can be scary at first, but watching baby learn from it is amazing! Just now, D was gnawing on an apple slice. He was able to break a piece off (he doesn't have teeth, how the heck does he do it?!) and I was SO nervous, watching him with unblinking eyes as he sucked on this bit that ended up in his mouth. Watching his eyes as he tried to figure it out was so cool. I could see his emotions and I could tell he was learning something new. He knew not to swallow it and to keep it away from the back of his throat, but he was having trouble getting it out of his mouth. He looked at me and started to cry. I took it out for him, and he put it back in! He was determined to master the apple! The key to BLW is (obviously, I should HAVE to say this) DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY UNATTENDED. Really, when your baby is eating anything baby should not be left unattended. Especially with solid food, please watch your baby. Especially because its fun!

We LOVE banana pancakes!

Banana pancakes-1 banana, 2 eggs. Mash, whisk, cook, cool, serve.

FOOD EXPLORATION
The best part; baby is STILL BREASTFEEDING! I know Daxton is getting all the nutrients he needs from me, I don't have to obsess over how much he is eating and I can allow him to decide when he is done with a meal or when he wants more. This allows food to be fun. He won't get upset when I try to feed him and he won't eat anymore. As he continues this BLW journey, he will learn that food is something that makes him feel full. He will then slowly want to breastfeed less and less and want solids more and more. Again, refer to the term "baby-led". If I have learned anything from my 6 month journey of motherhood, I have learned that life is so much easier when you follow your baby's cues. In no way am I saying do what baby says, baby is boss; I am simply imploring you to watch your baby and see what their preference is and maybe work with them. Let your baby tell you when they are ready for certain foods and they will be much easier to feed in the future!

THE MESS
The downside to BLW? Holy cow, it is SO messy! I feel terrible because of course I am the one who began our family down this BLW journey, and my oh so loving and devoted husband quickly learned how messy it is and is now, he is always ready after a meal with the broom and WetJet. We realized it would probably work in our favor to get a less bulky, easier to clean high chair and a mat for under the high chair so that messes would be a breeze to clean.

So this is my take on BLW. I know there is so much more I didn't talk about, so ask questions! I really feel like I should stress the importance of checking ingredients in foods and buying organic, especially produce, eggs, and dairy. Check out the EWG's list of top dirty foods to buy organic (https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/dirty_dozen_list.php). My family is adamant about only buying organic or not at all for the dirty dozen. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND the book I mentioned earlier for any mommas or dads wanting to venture down this road! Oh no, D is crawling now and getting into the tissue box. Gotta go. Enjoy!

On My Need to be Needed

Daxton is currently asleep in his crib in his room. It has just started pouring and there is a crazy amount of thunder and lightning outside. I woke Stephen up because I know he loves thunderstorms. He checked his radar and told me the storm isn't actually here yet, so it's going to get a lot worse ("hail likely"). I said, "Well he's going to wake up!" I keep checking the monitor and he hasn't moved. Why am I so frantically checking and wondering about him? He's slept through bad storms before and made it through tornado warnings. But I thought to myself how cute and sweet it would be when he's older and we have a storm and he rushes into our room because the sounds scare him and he needs us. How terrible that I'm actually excited for him to be frightened! But it's because I want him to need me.

We have just started the transition from Daxton sleeping in our room into his crib in his room. I know, judge me all you want for waiting to month six, but I love my baby and I want to keep him little forever. It's been hard. I have spoken with a sleep consultant and I didn't realize how badly my need to be needed was affecting him. When Dax would have a hard time sleeping, I would put him in bed with us (even though I adamantly preached against it) so I could nurse him and hold him close. I have grown to crave those times when he falls asleep in my arms and we can nap for two hours together. But the constant advised me that we needed to cut it out and be consistent, meaning no more naps with mom, at least until he gets a routine and understands sleeping in his crib. The consultant told me, "It is no longer your job to put him to sleep, but to teach him to sleep on his own and support him as he does." This really helped put me in the right mindset so I knew I was still needed. So Stephen and I planned on starting this process on a night before he was off of work incase it went absolutely terribly. Every morning leading up to that day, I spent loving D extra hard and keeping him in bed with me longer. These are my absolute favorite memories. I can't say it was great, but I can say it didn't go as badly as we expected. And each night since has gotten increasingly better. But he still wakes up because he needs love and comfort from us.

We will never not be needed. Actually, we will never not be desired. At this point, I don't NEED my parents, but I really, really need my parents. I truly, deeply wish that they were here, and not 2,000+ miles away. I would love for my mom to just show up and clean my house while I snuggled with D or my Dad to run errands for/with me. Being a new parent is hard and it would be so nice to have my parents. I will never stop needing them. At this stage in Daxton's life, he needs me intensely. He literally can't do anything on his own. He can feed himself, but he can't make his own food. He can move throughout the house, but he can't open doors. He can sleep, but he needs help getting there. After this phase of life, he will need me to teach him how to behave, how to be well-mannered and respectful. He will need me to guide him through his faith and figure out his passions in life. When he gets involved with sports and school and friends, he will need me to drive around. He will come to expect me to just do for him what he needs, but I will do it gladly, knowing he doesn't understand that I can choose not to drive him around, knowing that to him, that is my job. Eventually, he will be a teenager, and Lord knows he will need me, with those dimples and those eyes. It will be my job to teach him expectations and self-care. It will be mine and Stephen's job to teach him how to love and how to be loved. We will teach him the value of an education and encourage him to go to college, or at least some next level school to perfect what it is he wants to do. We will teach him to drive and he will then learn how time consuming it all was for us as parents to constantly cart him around. And when he goes to college, we will still be needed: laundry on weekends, meals when ramen is no longer edible, a place for his roommates to crash during the holidays. When he gets married, he will need us. He won't realize how unprepared he will be for marriage until after he is married (all you married people know what I'm talking about). And then when he has a baby, well as I said earlier, I really need my mom and dad. That's when I can share with him small lessons I learned as I was a new parent and how it really grows you and rewards you, despite the difficulties. And perhaps there will come a time when I no longer have anything to give, but I hope that he will then come to my aid, when I cannot stand by self or walk up stairs, or even when I just want to talk. I want to parent how God parents (my friend just pointed out God's parenting style to me). I want to be merciful and gracious and loving, but also allowing teaching moments so that my child will grow to be all I know he can be. And then one day, he will come to me realizing all I've done for him, all the times he should've listened to me instead of learning something the hard way, and I will just give him a hug and make him a meal. But even God wishes to be desired, to be needed, which is why He gave us free will, so we could CHOOSE to love him and turn to him. God rejoices in our prayer because we are recognizing that we need his help. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to be needed, I just don't have to be excited for the difficulties my children will ultimately face because I know that I will always be needed.

On Appreciating the Bad Days

So that vacation we took wasn't much of a vacation. Dax was super extra fussy all day. He took a decent nap this morning but teething is really taking its toll. You know when your kid is really off and nothing works so you just have to hold him and love one him--I basically had to hold him all day. I'm not complaining about it at all. Maybe it is because I had already decided to do nothing today or maybe God put a peace over my heart, but I remained strong and positive all day. That is a huge feat considering I only got 3 hours of sleep. However, I was shriveling up inside. In my mind I pictured myself crawling under the covers and bawling until Stephen comes home tomorrow. 

Come 3 PM, I realized it was no where close to bedtime and we were going a little stir crazy. My mom suggested that we go to the park. So off we went, swiftly grabbing a few items we needed and forgetting a lot of others, like sun protection in the way of sunscreen (necessary evil) and bonnets. I knew being in the car would help him sleep too. Of course he was fussy on the way to the park, but once he got in that swing he was so happy! I felt so relieved. All my anxiety came out as hyper-excitement. As a mom with a very small baby who can't even sit in his own, things get boring fast. So we moved into the big swing and I swing with him in my lap. He loved it and the kids at the park loved him and D loved all the attention. Eventually my legs grew numb and we had to move on. He was extra fussy in the car but I knew he was tired, so I made up a new game: drive wherever and do what you can to not have to stop. If you're approaching a red light, get in the right hand lane; if you're going through a parking lot, keep turning for different exits; if you're approaching traffic, make a turn just before and discover something new. I got him to sleep and went to Chick-fil-A. Once he fell asleep, I felt the after shock of my anxiety; the nausea, headache, shakes, tears, like coming off a caffeine high. I could barely process the day and I knew it wasn't over yet. He woke up right as we got home and we were back to square one, except we were much closer to bedtime. I gave him some green beans (we started them this morning, he loved them, there are pics below) and he was happy on his own for a bit, long enough for me to catch my breath. Then we took a bath and D is now asleep in my arms. I want to put him down but then that means we are closer to sleep and closer to tomorrow and closer to five months and closer to a year and closer to him moving out for college! No matter how hard the days are, I wouldn't trade them for anything. Sure it would be nice for Stephen to be here to help, but then I would miss out on a cuddling period or a diaper change (yes, I cherish those). I know I am so lucky to experience bad days with Daxton. I love my baby and one day I will look back on this time and think nothing but melancholic thoughts that this phase has passed. I'm going to make sure to carpe diem. 

On Taking a Break

I've been so busy lately, always coming or going, always driving. Daxton has been super fussy in his car seat and I'm wondering if he is thinking the same thing I am...let's take a break! *cue Hamilton soundtrack* I don't know why I've been so busy and I don't know why I don't just chill. I need to retreat. I need to cancel plans, not make any new ones, forget about errands, and just stay home for a day with my baby, cuddling and watching Gilmore Girls. I find myself rushing things so we could move on or putting D down so I can clean and get stuff done. I am officially on a home vacation. I'm not leaving unless I feel led and it will be leisurely and spontaneous and fun. I'm talking no errands, no chores, no worries. So much to the point that I'll get drive thru junk food for dinner so I can spend more time with my baby. He's almost 5 months. I won't be able to call him a baby much longer. He will be a toddler and saying, "No, I don't want to," before I know it. So while Dad is away until tomorrow night, Daxton and I are gonna chill. Sorry Stephen, but the place will probably be a mess when you get home. The dishes are clean in the dishwasher, half a load of laundry is still in the dryer, the dining room table has become a depository for mail, books, toys, and Easter candy, pillows are strewn lazily on the couch, oh look, more laundry on the couch! The PlayStation is hanging on a chair in the middle of the living room and there are quite a few seltzer cans clandestinely placed around the house. I have a project half finished on the mantle and the other half on the chest in the living room. So now that I've listed all that I would have to do, I don't feel so bad about not doing it! All for this moment...

On Continual Growth

Tonight, as I was putting Daxton to bed, I wondered if he is going to sleep well tonight. Last night, he slept until 4:30 and Stephen and I were ecstatic, hoping we had made it through the worst part of the sleep regression. I jokingly told Stephen it was our reward for giving time to the church for Good Friday when we could have had a family day instead. Tonight I thought, "Maybe there was something to that comment and maybe he will sleep well tonight because I served again and I'm really feeling the power of the Lord". But how silly is that; I am not serving because of the benefits or rewards, I am serving because I want to connect with others and grow in my faith. As I laid D down, I heard God remind me, "It isn't going to be easy." If I continue to look for ease or comfort, I will never be challenged, so I will never grow. Life is about continual growth. Earth experiences challenges every year. During winter, trees lose their leaves and grass is browned. But once spring comes, we see how the earth grows again out of it's challenges; a beautiful cycle set forth by the Creator. Winter is not easy for many, but come spring, we are able to see such wonderful rebirth. As a parent, we will face challenges, dry season, and a lot of storms, but the beautiful growth we will see in our children is such a magical thing. All our challenges, all our struggles, will bring forward some type of growth. It may not be something tangible, it may not be something big, it may not even be soon-God's timing will always trump our own-but it will happen. During your storms, pray for growth and pray for patience. Give God a chance to work in your life and you will be amazed with the outcome!

On the Easy Way

Daxton is going through a sleep regression. It gets worse each night. Where he was waking once throughout the night, or not at all, he is now waking 2+ times a night. He is waking up earlier every morning, and I have had my first migraine in a very long time today because of my lack of sleep. We have been trying to transition out of our Ollie swaddle for weeks, but he moves so much and wakes himself up that we are missing out on vital sleep. I have been praying every night during these wake periods that God would put a peace on his heart that would allow him to sleep longer. Another Insta mama wrote a post that perfectly summed up why my prayers won't be answered how I want them to. I am praying for the easy way. I am praying for God to take the challenge out of motherhood. I have grown in every aspect of my life since welcoming my little babe and the growth will never stop. These regressions are challenging me to be a more patient mama. I am being prepared for the late nights when he is out with his friends after a football game or when he isn't even home because he's away at college. Nothing God does is easy. He sent His son to death, surely a difficult task. Jesus willingly gave himself up for death, knowing how difficult that was. The resurrection is such a difficult thing to base a faith on. As Christians, we are told that a man died (normally an event of finality) and woke up three days later and skipped out of his grave. We are asked to believe and profess this event to the ridicule of many. We are asked to remain steadfast through the challenges of Christianity. It's not easy, but it makes us stronger, makes our faith stronger, makes our community stronger.

Tonight at our Good Friday experience, Wade Joye said that we can get so caught up in our struggles that we lose sight of what God is doing in our lives. As I write this, Daxton has fallen asleep on me with his head on my shoulders. He hasn't fallen asleep like this in a long while and I didn't realize how much I've missed it. My prayer will become a request for God to give me strength and patience to set an example for my baby boy. I will praise God for the extra moments we get of sweet smiles and coos. I will praise God for a healthy baby boy who is beyond perfection and cherish the lessons I learn in the challenges.

On Applying Spring to My Life

Spring has sprung! My favorite season is autumn, but spring is a close second. Spring in North Carolina is so beautiful. The weather will become perfect, and then sweltering hot, then a storm hits, and your'e back to perfect weather, rainbows, and all is green! It is truly the season of rebirth.

Yesterday, D and I began our day early. He woke up at about 6:30 and I didn't try to get him back to sleep like I normally do. I let him lay in bed with me and play for a bit after I nursed him. At 7:30 he started rubbing his eyes and getting a little fussy. I put him back down for a nap at about 8 and realized I could start working us toward a schedule. After he woke up (at 9:30!), we had breakfast and went for a run.

Applying this rebirth to my life, I have began running again. I have been unable to get back to working out due to some health issues post-pregnancy. I wasn't cleared to begin non-strenuous exercises until D was about 3 months old. Yesterday, I finally was able to get back out and run. I love running (its okay, you don't have to understand) as a stress reliever and a pick-me-up. I used to run all the time, but once I became pregnant, the doctor told me running would mess up my back an my sciatica a lot more, and eventually it wouldn't be safe for the baby, so it's been about a year since I ran last. It was so wonderful! I didn't want to overwork myself, so I only did about a mile and a half, but this time, I was pushing 20 lbs up and down hills. Running with a baby is so different! Daxton enjoyed it, minus the loud sounds of big rigs when they passed us by.

I felt so good after this! When we got back home, D played a little and then I put him down for his second nap. Unfortunately this one didn't last more than 35 minutes, but the point is I tried and he knows that there will be a nap around noon. So I got him up and let him play for a little while I made lunch (a kale, chicken, and quinoa salad with a homemade lemon vinaigrette). When he started to fuss, I laid him on his back on the rug so he could play with his feet. Suddenly, he began to cry a real cry, not a fussy cry. I was draining my quinoa and I looked up. D was on his tummy and I could see he had had a blowout all up his back! Poor kid was miserable and I was frozen in shock. I scooped him up and got to work cleaning him up and throwing that onesie away. An impromptu bath was called for (second one in as many days), and I had to get in with him; D could not calm down! It wasn't until he was out, changed, and nursing that he began to calm. He ended up falling asleep on me and slept for an hour. Safe to say our schedule was kaput after that, but I got some sweet baby snuggles. Today, we've been doing well with a schedule. He woke up at 6:05 and went down for a nap at 8:20 (after 23 minutes of rocking, shushing, and feeding). I have no idea what today holds, but I pray that D feels better today than he did yesterday and that he sleeps better, too!

P.S. I didn't eat my lunch until 5 PM, so I'm hoping I can eat earlier today!
-T

On Starting Solids

My baby is growing up! Last night we had our first true trial with solids! I purchased a pouch of Plum Organics Sweet Potatoes at Target yesterday and hubby and I were just so excited to try something new! My plan is to make our own baby food, but until he is truly eating a lot of solids, we will survive on pouches, so long as they're organic and free of any additives, of course! 

So hubby and D came home from church last night, and I told Stephen that I got a pouch. He hurried up and whipped out the high chair; I don't remember the last time I saw him so excited. I told him that Daxton tried to drink out of my straw today when he grabbed my cup and put the straw in his mouth! We knew he was ready, even if we weren't. I brought in a baby spoon and we had so much fun! I think we should do smaller amounts at a time, but D really seemed to like it! We will keep on sweet potatoes for a few days, and maybe we will do avocado next! His facial expressions kill me! 

On the Tongue Tie

Dax got his tongue tie clipped today. I was by myself and there was blood. It was such a hard thing to do as a mom, watching my child purposely be put in pain, knowing I could stop it. To top it off, I am really not good with blood. I was forced to get a little better because of pregnancy, but I still got so anxious when Daxton got his shots last Monday. I knew I would be a wreck if he had to get his tie cut, so I told myself and my family that if he did, I would schedule it separately so Stephen could be there with me. That didn’t happen.

When I got there (the facility was super modern and clean), I checked in and filled out a medical history (for his short 4 months of life). It took a while for us to get called back. I wish I had spent that time preparing my mind to be strong for D, but I was so adamant that I wouldn’t do it. When we went in, the nurse asked a bunch of questions and told me how her daughter had to have her tongue tie cut. She said she was nervous too and had left the room. She told me the doctor would not recommend getting it cut if he truly did not think it needed to be done. She had worked there for a while and had seen a lot of appointments go with ways. She showed me the tools he would use if he did end up doing the procedure. When the doctor came in, I had just put Daxton to sleep. He was so tired already and I knew he would be so grumpy upon waking up. So I woke him up, he fussed, the doctor looked at his tongue, he fussed a lot more. After maybe 45 seconds, he said to me that he could cut it quickly and right away. I was a little taken aback…well a lot! He suddenly is explaining to me the process and only looked at my baby for a minute and is ready to literally cut him! I barely had a chance to register everything. I asked if he thought it was bad enough to get it done or mild enough that it wouldn’t affect him. He said he would definitely recommend it get cut, since we had had breastfeeding issues previously. The whole point of this appointment was to see if a specialist thought his tie should be cut. I had my answer! My husband and I had been talking about cutting his tie for so long, we had already decided that if the doctor thought it should be cut, it would be. The doctor explained to me that he had had his tongue clipped way back when by his dad who was also a surgeon. He said it was painful for a bit but he was fine. He said he would put a numbing agent on the area and he wouldn’t even feel it. I asked if I could reschedule for tomorrow so my husband could be there. The look he gave me said to me that he thought I was weak. I realized I wasn’t being strong for my baby. Daxton and I will have a lot of times when he gets hurt or needs shots and I will be the one who has to handle it. I can’t always be squirmy and hide in the corner. I want Daxton to know he can count on me for anything. I imagined him falling and getting really hurt and needing me but hesitating because he knows i would be queasy. It would kill me for my child to feel that I cannot provide the kind of support they need, no matter how I feel. I realized I needed to put aside my fears and man up to be the person I want my child to admire and count on. So I said, “No, I can do it”. He asked if I was sure and I said “Yes, I am sure.” He asked me if I wanted a nurse to hold him or if I wanted to. Again, I wanted to, but I knew that I may not hold him the way the doctor would need and the nurses would have done it before and be much better than I would. The doctor said they always recommend nursing/feeding the baby immediately after the procedure, so I was ready. I put aside my wants and fears and stayed strong for my baby. It was over in 60 seconds. He cried terribly, but because he hates being forced to not move. He cries like that when I clip his nails. He bled a little. It got on his paci and on his pants. We went into the other room and I nursed him for a while. He fell asleep. He was fine. I did’t tell anyone what happened until I was nursing him and I finally had a minute to process everything. But wow, I was so proud of myself. I realized if I could do this, I could be there for D. As we were walking to the car, I realized I would get to tell him this story one day and tell him how I conquered my fears because I wanted to be a stronger person for him. When I put him in the car, he was all smiles. 

Daxton is now sticking his tongue out and is still nursing like a champ. I am not nervous that his teething would mess with our nursing process. I really feel like I made the right choice. The way it happened was a little out of my comfort zone, and I hate that my husband wasn’t with me, but I feel this was truly something that needed to happen. And what a bonding moment for mom and baby. I am glad I made the choice to cut it so he wasn’t a toddler dealing with speech issues and having to experience this issue when he is much more aware. Or he could be an adult who wishes he had had it cut. I’m dealing with a lot of self-doubt about the situation, even though I am sure of my decision. I would love to hear some stories and get some support from mamas who have also dealt with this!

Anyway, today resulted in a lot of cuddles…

On Maintaining Family Traditions

Yesterday was another busy day; I literally FORGOT to blog! As I sit down to type out my daily excursions, I realize every day just how much I try to get done. I'm going to take a day off pretty soon and just love on the babe. But yesterday was also an important day, so I digress. 

We went on a mile and a half walk in the morning inviting people to Easter at Elevation. We spent five hours deconstructing, packing, and sending Stephen's family heirloom cradle, I volunteered at church for the next four hours while Hubby and Bub spent some quality time together. And finally one of my closest friends/mentors arrived after a very long drive from WV. 

The important part of the day was the whole cradle scenario. Such a wonderful chapter of our parenting journey has come to an end. Stephen's family has a cradle that all the kids on his mom's side of the family have slept in. Daxton was the 12th baby to continue this tradition. We were so excited when we got the cradle. It got a prime spot in our bedroom. We set it up so carefully and perfectly. My MIL bought extra organic fitted sheets and I handmade (for the first time ever) a fitted sheet for the mattress pad. There are plaques on the cradle declaring which children have slept in it and their dates of birth. I would stare at my husband's name and imagine my son's name joining his eventually! When we came home from the hospital with Daxton, we couldn’t wait to put him in the cradle. At this point, it is important to remind and reinforce readers that Dax was born 10 pounds and was already rolling to the sides (because he moved so much and was so strong!). When we walked in the door, Stephen gave Daxton a home tour (I will share that video eventually), and at the end of the tour, Stephen laid Daxton in the cradle. Once Stephen let go of him, D rolled over, the cradle got rocky, and it really seemed like it would swing so much D would fall out. Now, obviously we knew that wouldn’t happen, but it was still scary how Daxton was rolling over but not rolling back. Once we figured out sleeping habits and routines, we knew he preferred to be at an angle and he slept longer if he was being held or rocked. We used the Rock N Play because it met all his sleeping needs, which was really important because he was sleeping terribly, so mom and dad were sleeping terribly, too! At two months, we had gotten a Dock A Tot, a good swaddle, and learned that Daxton is actually pretty resilient, so we tried the cradle. It worked! He slept great flat and not being rocked. Stephen and I were so emotional and happy that we could claim our child had slept in there as well. 

A few weeks after Daxton was born, we found out Stephen’s cousin and his girlfriend were expecting. We were so excited; their baby was due in a month and we said how cool it would be that both their kids would be so close in age. Then we realized this meant the cradle was needed elsewhere. We thought we would have more time with it. I had thought that when Daxton started walking and playing he might puts his stuffies in their for their “nap”. I had imagined it becoming a staple in his nursery and I could show him his Daddy’s name on the plaque. It was such a bittersweet moment to be so happy and sad. He was already so used to his sleeping habits (rocking, incline) that we couldn’t change it at this point when he was just starting to sleep so well. So we held on to the cradle as long as we could. I made sure to take pictures when I could (usually the lights are off and he’s asleep when he’s in it). Now, we just have to hope that we can have our next baby (not for a long time!) sleep in it from the beginning and we won’t take advantage of it like we had.