On the Easy Way

Daxton is going through a sleep regression. It gets worse each night. Where he was waking once throughout the night, or not at all, he is now waking 2+ times a night. He is waking up earlier every morning, and I have had my first migraine in a very long time today because of my lack of sleep. We have been trying to transition out of our Ollie swaddle for weeks, but he moves so much and wakes himself up that we are missing out on vital sleep. I have been praying every night during these wake periods that God would put a peace on his heart that would allow him to sleep longer. Another Insta mama wrote a post that perfectly summed up why my prayers won't be answered how I want them to. I am praying for the easy way. I am praying for God to take the challenge out of motherhood. I have grown in every aspect of my life since welcoming my little babe and the growth will never stop. These regressions are challenging me to be a more patient mama. I am being prepared for the late nights when he is out with his friends after a football game or when he isn't even home because he's away at college. Nothing God does is easy. He sent His son to death, surely a difficult task. Jesus willingly gave himself up for death, knowing how difficult that was. The resurrection is such a difficult thing to base a faith on. As Christians, we are told that a man died (normally an event of finality) and woke up three days later and skipped out of his grave. We are asked to believe and profess this event to the ridicule of many. We are asked to remain steadfast through the challenges of Christianity. It's not easy, but it makes us stronger, makes our faith stronger, makes our community stronger.

Tonight at our Good Friday experience, Wade Joye said that we can get so caught up in our struggles that we lose sight of what God is doing in our lives. As I write this, Daxton has fallen asleep on me with his head on my shoulders. He hasn't fallen asleep like this in a long while and I didn't realize how much I've missed it. My prayer will become a request for God to give me strength and patience to set an example for my baby boy. I will praise God for the extra moments we get of sweet smiles and coos. I will praise God for a healthy baby boy who is beyond perfection and cherish the lessons I learn in the challenges.

On Applying Spring to My Life

Spring has sprung! My favorite season is autumn, but spring is a close second. Spring in North Carolina is so beautiful. The weather will become perfect, and then sweltering hot, then a storm hits, and your'e back to perfect weather, rainbows, and all is green! It is truly the season of rebirth.

Yesterday, D and I began our day early. He woke up at about 6:30 and I didn't try to get him back to sleep like I normally do. I let him lay in bed with me and play for a bit after I nursed him. At 7:30 he started rubbing his eyes and getting a little fussy. I put him back down for a nap at about 8 and realized I could start working us toward a schedule. After he woke up (at 9:30!), we had breakfast and went for a run.

Applying this rebirth to my life, I have began running again. I have been unable to get back to working out due to some health issues post-pregnancy. I wasn't cleared to begin non-strenuous exercises until D was about 3 months old. Yesterday, I finally was able to get back out and run. I love running (its okay, you don't have to understand) as a stress reliever and a pick-me-up. I used to run all the time, but once I became pregnant, the doctor told me running would mess up my back an my sciatica a lot more, and eventually it wouldn't be safe for the baby, so it's been about a year since I ran last. It was so wonderful! I didn't want to overwork myself, so I only did about a mile and a half, but this time, I was pushing 20 lbs up and down hills. Running with a baby is so different! Daxton enjoyed it, minus the loud sounds of big rigs when they passed us by.

I felt so good after this! When we got back home, D played a little and then I put him down for his second nap. Unfortunately this one didn't last more than 35 minutes, but the point is I tried and he knows that there will be a nap around noon. So I got him up and let him play for a little while I made lunch (a kale, chicken, and quinoa salad with a homemade lemon vinaigrette). When he started to fuss, I laid him on his back on the rug so he could play with his feet. Suddenly, he began to cry a real cry, not a fussy cry. I was draining my quinoa and I looked up. D was on his tummy and I could see he had had a blowout all up his back! Poor kid was miserable and I was frozen in shock. I scooped him up and got to work cleaning him up and throwing that onesie away. An impromptu bath was called for (second one in as many days), and I had to get in with him; D could not calm down! It wasn't until he was out, changed, and nursing that he began to calm. He ended up falling asleep on me and slept for an hour. Safe to say our schedule was kaput after that, but I got some sweet baby snuggles. Today, we've been doing well with a schedule. He woke up at 6:05 and went down for a nap at 8:20 (after 23 minutes of rocking, shushing, and feeding). I have no idea what today holds, but I pray that D feels better today than he did yesterday and that he sleeps better, too!

P.S. I didn't eat my lunch until 5 PM, so I'm hoping I can eat earlier today!
-T

On Starting Solids

My baby is growing up! Last night we had our first true trial with solids! I purchased a pouch of Plum Organics Sweet Potatoes at Target yesterday and hubby and I were just so excited to try something new! My plan is to make our own baby food, but until he is truly eating a lot of solids, we will survive on pouches, so long as they're organic and free of any additives, of course! 

So hubby and D came home from church last night, and I told Stephen that I got a pouch. He hurried up and whipped out the high chair; I don't remember the last time I saw him so excited. I told him that Daxton tried to drink out of my straw today when he grabbed my cup and put the straw in his mouth! We knew he was ready, even if we weren't. I brought in a baby spoon and we had so much fun! I think we should do smaller amounts at a time, but D really seemed to like it! We will keep on sweet potatoes for a few days, and maybe we will do avocado next! His facial expressions kill me! 

On the Tongue Tie

Dax got his tongue tie clipped today. I was by myself and there was blood. It was such a hard thing to do as a mom, watching my child purposely be put in pain, knowing I could stop it. To top it off, I am really not good with blood. I was forced to get a little better because of pregnancy, but I still got so anxious when Daxton got his shots last Monday. I knew I would be a wreck if he had to get his tie cut, so I told myself and my family that if he did, I would schedule it separately so Stephen could be there with me. That didn’t happen.

When I got there (the facility was super modern and clean), I checked in and filled out a medical history (for his short 4 months of life). It took a while for us to get called back. I wish I had spent that time preparing my mind to be strong for D, but I was so adamant that I wouldn’t do it. When we went in, the nurse asked a bunch of questions and told me how her daughter had to have her tongue tie cut. She said she was nervous too and had left the room. She told me the doctor would not recommend getting it cut if he truly did not think it needed to be done. She had worked there for a while and had seen a lot of appointments go with ways. She showed me the tools he would use if he did end up doing the procedure. When the doctor came in, I had just put Daxton to sleep. He was so tired already and I knew he would be so grumpy upon waking up. So I woke him up, he fussed, the doctor looked at his tongue, he fussed a lot more. After maybe 45 seconds, he said to me that he could cut it quickly and right away. I was a little taken aback…well a lot! He suddenly is explaining to me the process and only looked at my baby for a minute and is ready to literally cut him! I barely had a chance to register everything. I asked if he thought it was bad enough to get it done or mild enough that it wouldn’t affect him. He said he would definitely recommend it get cut, since we had had breastfeeding issues previously. The whole point of this appointment was to see if a specialist thought his tie should be cut. I had my answer! My husband and I had been talking about cutting his tie for so long, we had already decided that if the doctor thought it should be cut, it would be. The doctor explained to me that he had had his tongue clipped way back when by his dad who was also a surgeon. He said it was painful for a bit but he was fine. He said he would put a numbing agent on the area and he wouldn’t even feel it. I asked if I could reschedule for tomorrow so my husband could be there. The look he gave me said to me that he thought I was weak. I realized I wasn’t being strong for my baby. Daxton and I will have a lot of times when he gets hurt or needs shots and I will be the one who has to handle it. I can’t always be squirmy and hide in the corner. I want Daxton to know he can count on me for anything. I imagined him falling and getting really hurt and needing me but hesitating because he knows i would be queasy. It would kill me for my child to feel that I cannot provide the kind of support they need, no matter how I feel. I realized I needed to put aside my fears and man up to be the person I want my child to admire and count on. So I said, “No, I can do it”. He asked if I was sure and I said “Yes, I am sure.” He asked me if I wanted a nurse to hold him or if I wanted to. Again, I wanted to, but I knew that I may not hold him the way the doctor would need and the nurses would have done it before and be much better than I would. The doctor said they always recommend nursing/feeding the baby immediately after the procedure, so I was ready. I put aside my wants and fears and stayed strong for my baby. It was over in 60 seconds. He cried terribly, but because he hates being forced to not move. He cries like that when I clip his nails. He bled a little. It got on his paci and on his pants. We went into the other room and I nursed him for a while. He fell asleep. He was fine. I did’t tell anyone what happened until I was nursing him and I finally had a minute to process everything. But wow, I was so proud of myself. I realized if I could do this, I could be there for D. As we were walking to the car, I realized I would get to tell him this story one day and tell him how I conquered my fears because I wanted to be a stronger person for him. When I put him in the car, he was all smiles. 

Daxton is now sticking his tongue out and is still nursing like a champ. I am not nervous that his teething would mess with our nursing process. I really feel like I made the right choice. The way it happened was a little out of my comfort zone, and I hate that my husband wasn’t with me, but I feel this was truly something that needed to happen. And what a bonding moment for mom and baby. I am glad I made the choice to cut it so he wasn’t a toddler dealing with speech issues and having to experience this issue when he is much more aware. Or he could be an adult who wishes he had had it cut. I’m dealing with a lot of self-doubt about the situation, even though I am sure of my decision. I would love to hear some stories and get some support from mamas who have also dealt with this!

Anyway, today resulted in a lot of cuddles…

On Maintaining Family Traditions

Yesterday was another busy day; I literally FORGOT to blog! As I sit down to type out my daily excursions, I realize every day just how much I try to get done. I'm going to take a day off pretty soon and just love on the babe. But yesterday was also an important day, so I digress. 

We went on a mile and a half walk in the morning inviting people to Easter at Elevation. We spent five hours deconstructing, packing, and sending Stephen's family heirloom cradle, I volunteered at church for the next four hours while Hubby and Bub spent some quality time together. And finally one of my closest friends/mentors arrived after a very long drive from WV. 

The important part of the day was the whole cradle scenario. Such a wonderful chapter of our parenting journey has come to an end. Stephen's family has a cradle that all the kids on his mom's side of the family have slept in. Daxton was the 12th baby to continue this tradition. We were so excited when we got the cradle. It got a prime spot in our bedroom. We set it up so carefully and perfectly. My MIL bought extra organic fitted sheets and I handmade (for the first time ever) a fitted sheet for the mattress pad. There are plaques on the cradle declaring which children have slept in it and their dates of birth. I would stare at my husband's name and imagine my son's name joining his eventually! When we came home from the hospital with Daxton, we couldn’t wait to put him in the cradle. At this point, it is important to remind and reinforce readers that Dax was born 10 pounds and was already rolling to the sides (because he moved so much and was so strong!). When we walked in the door, Stephen gave Daxton a home tour (I will share that video eventually), and at the end of the tour, Stephen laid Daxton in the cradle. Once Stephen let go of him, D rolled over, the cradle got rocky, and it really seemed like it would swing so much D would fall out. Now, obviously we knew that wouldn’t happen, but it was still scary how Daxton was rolling over but not rolling back. Once we figured out sleeping habits and routines, we knew he preferred to be at an angle and he slept longer if he was being held or rocked. We used the Rock N Play because it met all his sleeping needs, which was really important because he was sleeping terribly, so mom and dad were sleeping terribly, too! At two months, we had gotten a Dock A Tot, a good swaddle, and learned that Daxton is actually pretty resilient, so we tried the cradle. It worked! He slept great flat and not being rocked. Stephen and I were so emotional and happy that we could claim our child had slept in there as well. 

A few weeks after Daxton was born, we found out Stephen’s cousin and his girlfriend were expecting. We were so excited; their baby was due in a month and we said how cool it would be that both their kids would be so close in age. Then we realized this meant the cradle was needed elsewhere. We thought we would have more time with it. I had thought that when Daxton started walking and playing he might puts his stuffies in their for their “nap”. I had imagined it becoming a staple in his nursery and I could show him his Daddy’s name on the plaque. It was such a bittersweet moment to be so happy and sad. He was already so used to his sleeping habits (rocking, incline) that we couldn’t change it at this point when he was just starting to sleep so well. So we held on to the cradle as long as we could. I made sure to take pictures when I could (usually the lights are off and he’s asleep when he’s in it). Now, we just have to hope that we can have our next baby (not for a long time!) sleep in it from the beginning and we won’t take advantage of it like we had. 

On Gender Stereotyping

Today, I put my boy in a bonnet. Most of us millennials don't see bonnets as being for one gender or another, but I know plenty of people who think I shouldn't have bought my boy a bonnet or that its weird. For some reason, society has turned bonnets into a "girl thing", even though all babies used to wear bonnets decades ago. I don't want there to be anything my boy shouldn't do because it's a "girl thing". I will be just as thrilled if my son wants to pursue a career in fashion or ballroom dancing as I would if he wants to pursue baseball. This doesn't mean I am going to purposely do something to my son just because I don't want him to be too attached to one gender; I wouldn't go out of my way to put him in a lavender onesie or wear flowers on his head. And I do see him as my son; I don't want to raise him to be gender neutral, because I believe in the beauty of each gender as designed by God. If I see a cute onesie that has a gender specific saying (i.e. "Daddy's Little Girl), I will definitely not dress him in that, no matter how cute I think it is. I also will not dress him in super stereotyped boy onesies either (i.e. "Chicks dig me," or "Built tough like Daddy", with few exceptions). My philosophy is to raise him away from societal gender "norms" so that he will not feel constrained.

Growing up, my "favorite color" was pink. I am 100% sure the reason for this is because it is my mom's favorite color (reason being when I found out my Nana's favorite color was green, I quickly changed my favorite color to green as well...I was very impressionable). My mom is a girly girl through and through. She went through her tomboy phase growing up, but she loved (yeah right, still loves) lace and pink and frills and wants a fluffy white cat with a pink bow named Fifi or something like that. Like I said, I was very impressionable, so I was also quite the girly girl. I would request the color pink for whatever I could and I loved to wear dresses. Suddenly, around 4th grade, I entered my tomboy phase. I will shamefully admit to the following fashion crimes: Pepe Jeans, pants with multiple zippers to change lengths, terribly generic eight-year-old graphic tees. I begged my mom to let me cut my hair (which she didn't until 7th grade and I should have listened to her and never cut it) so that I could have a more "tomboy" look. I am so thankful my parents didn't fully embrace this stage of my life. If my mom got rid of all my dresses, bought me Converse instead of jellies, and let me cut my hair, I definitely could have felt she was encouraging me into boy-like behaviors. As I said twice now, I was impressionable. If at anytime my parents would have encouraged something stereotypically boyish, I would have continued down that road. Instead, they did both. I had the Converse AND the jellies. I had my dresses, and unfortunately, I had my 3-tier pants. She didn't try to conform me. They never said, "You're a girl so you have to wear a dress," or "You're a girl so you can't have Wheelies". DISCLAIMER: My mom did like to dress us up, especially for holidays, but she made sure we knew it was because it was something she wanted and not something we were supposed to want to do.

My husband is a sweet man, but a man through and through. When I found out we were having a boy, I immediately began to buy and look for clothes. We knew he would be born at the end of November, so I knew I would have to get him his first Christmas outfit. I wanted to get him a smock, and Stephen very adamantly did not want his son wearing a dress. Not only are smocks a very Southern thing, they also make some specifically for boys. When we were looking for an outfit to bring Daxton home in, his only stipulation was that it not look "too girly". Update: Daxton did not wear a smock for Christmas, in large part because I never got around to ordering him one, but he does have one for Easter! I want to make sure that as Daxton gets older, he doesn't see pink as a color he shouldn't wear or bonnets as something for girls. I want him to be open to everything. I want him to go through style phases and do the preppy thing, do the skater thing, do the athlete thing (gym shorts, tall socks, nike sandals) so that he will find himself without rethinking who he truly is.

On Our Co-Sleeping Story

What a controversial topic! I think it is important to define what co-sleeping actually is. There are different ways a parent can co-sleep with their baby: same bed, separate/extended surface like bedside sleepers, and same room, separate surface. I am not talking about having baby sleep in bed with you, because I agree with the big guys who declare it unsafe (besides the possibility of rolling into your baby, adult mattresses are made very differently than infant mattresses to provide proper spine and body growth and development. Also, comforters, pillows, sheets, even mama hair all pose a threat to baby). I define co-sleeping as baby sleeping in the same room as his parents.

For the first two months of his life, Daxton slept in the rock n play because he preferred the upright position and he wasn't able to roll around(because he was already turning into his side from day one!). Then, at two months, we put him in the DockATot in an heirloom cradle (post about that coming at you on Saturday) that my husband slept in when he was a baby. Four months was our original goal for co-sleeping because that is when the risk of SIDS lowers significantly. We've now reached that point and we seriously don't want to end co-sleeping yet!

Daxton turned 4 months one week ago. We are going to be sending the heirloom cradle on to the next family baby, so we didn't have a place for Dax to sleep in our room. We don't want to regress if we can help it and keep him in the rock n play (with his length and weight, in pretty sure he can't use it anymore), so my MIL bought us a Moses basket (anyone have a stand I can use?) so that we still have the option of keeping him in our room. But Stephen and I were so sure if loving him into his room. We thought it was developmentally appropriate and we didn't want to hinder his growth. After we spent so much time putting together his nursery, we want to make sure it gets a lot of use. But in reality, WE aren't ready. Stephen and I don't want to get up and walk all the way across our home to give him his paci when he loses it twice at night. And what if his breathing monitor goes off and we don't hear it? How long will he have to cry until we wake up and tend to him. Really, he only wakes up once at night, and promptly goes back to sleep, but he would be so far from us.

So I felt I was the one really pushing for D to transition into his room and I could tell Stephen was just going along with what I said. Last night I asked him regardless of what I think, is he ready to transition D? He said he wants to give it another month. So we now have an open ended co-sleeping plan and that really makes my soul happy.

Here are some links for articles/info pages I found helpful and informative regarding co-sleeping:
http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/cosleeping/
http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/
https://www.thebump.com/a/myths-and-truths-about-co-sleeping
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes
http://www.cosleeping.org

-T