On Breastfeeding and the Unknown

I am currently on a month-long vacation in California visiting friends and family. Daxton and I flew out solo and are braving our first vacation just the two of us. Daxton is meeting a lot of new people and these people are interested in Daxton's routines and behaviors. After being asked about his development, particularly with food and nursing, I felt it was necessary to begin to discuss some of the myths regarding breastfeeding. I cannot believe that women have been nursing since the beginning of time, yet still do not understand the benefits and necessity of breastmilk. Note: While I do believe in the power of breastmilk, I am unfortunately all too aware of the difficulties some moms deal with when trying to breastfeed and that it is not the best option for all families, so ultimately I believe "fed is best".

1. Babies get all their nutrients from breastmilk: TRUE

Babies need nothing else apart from their mother's milk or formula to survive the first year of life. Nothing else will provide the nutrition babies need for their constantly growing and developing bodies. Breastmilk changes based on babies needs. Research (that I am too lazy to find again, but you can look it up yourself or take my word for it) has shown that a mother's milk will change when her baby is sick to help heal the baby. However, it is important that the mother eat well. Mother's should eat well no matter what, but especially when what you put into your body translates into what the baby puts in his. Take care of yourselves, ladies!

2. Baby needs water to stay hydrated: FALSE

Babies should not have water until they are 6 months, and even then they don't need it. Some pediatricians might disagree and say a little is okay at 4 months. The reason for this is baby's kidneys do not fully develop until around 6 months. Water will not be able to properly digest in the body and baby can get very sick and in some cases die from water intoxication (look it up). At 6 months, some doctors will suggest that baby can drink 1-2 ounces a day, especially if you live in a warm environment. In most cases, this is not necessary at all. Mama's breastmilk will keep baby hydrated AND full. Our bodies are mostly made up of water, so imagine all the water going to baby from mom. Don't forget to keep mamas hydrated! We need to keep our water percentage up so that we can properly feed baby! Our pediatrician did recommend to us that Daxton drinks water to help with his constipation, but that would be a circumstance in which we allow ourselves to do something we know is going to help him rather than hurt him, especially knowing he prefers to nurse anyway.

3. Baby should be eating three meals a day: FALSE

I am surprised at how many times I've said that Daxton is hungry and people ask me what he can eat. Uhh, breastmilk all the way! We are journeying through baby-led weaning, so Daxton does "eat meals" but he doesn't eat for nutrients or to fulfill his hunger. Solid food is an adventure for him and he is learning mealtimes and tastes and textures. I was also shocked at how many times I had to explain to people that Daxton doesn't eat meals, he nurses. He will nurse according to his schedule. I give him food when Stephen and I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner to teach him the concept of mealtime, but that doesn't mean he is receiving all the nutrients he needs or that it is even a healthy option. Someone asked me if Daxton ate lunch and I thought, "Well he ate a little bit of food when I ate, but I think they're asking if he was fed, so he nursed, but that wasn't the question." So I had to explain that Daxton doesn't "do lunch". He might ingest some food, but it doesn't classify as lunch, or not in the sense of fulfilling a hunger halfway through the day like adults or older children do. So no he didn't eat lunch, but also yes, he did. 

4. If baby doesn't latch to the bottle or nipple, he must not be hungry: FALSE

I don't know about other mamas, but my baby has always been EXTREMELY curious. If someone talks, he will unlatch. If the TV is on, he won't want to eat. If he knows he can be playing, he won't want to stop to eat. It is mom's job to make sure your child is properly fed. Create an environment that will be conducive to a calm and relaxed state for baby to enjoy nursing/a bottle. This might mean turning off the TV, speaking in hushed or relaxed tones, turning off a light or closing the curtains, and in our case, turning off the ceiling fan. If this doesn't work, don't force your baby to eat, but continue to offer food in the form of breastmilk or a bottle. Baby will be hungry and given the right environment, he WILL eat. 

5. Breastfeeding will happen naturally: FALSE

I cannot emphasize enough how false this is. Babies are born with the reflex to latch, therefore breast feeding will happen naturally for baby. Mamas need to be much more prepared. I was extremely unprepared. There were things I could have spent more time reading about or researching that would have make my journey so much easier, but instead I assumed it would just happen and didn't bother to spend much time on this concept. It definitely did not happen naturally for me and I had multiple anxiety attacks in the hospital. I almost gave up half a dozen times in the ensuing months, but continues to push through until I was finally able to fix the tongue tie and wean off the nipple shields t four months. Ever since, I never want to stop breastfeeding. Prego mamas, do not skim past this subject; do your research and take classes!

6. You can increase your supply: TRUE

There have been many occasions that I have felt like my supply was dwindling. I would freak out and jump online to research how to increase my supply immediately. I was not about to empty my wallet on nutrition bars designed for that purpose and did not feel like investing in a ton of ingredients that might help. There are certain foods called"galactagogues" that are rumored to help with a mother's milk supply. There are teas that combine few or many of these herbs and foods. I figured I could try that because I drink tea regularly as is. I can definitely say that helped. Another option is cutting out caffeine. After I gave birth and was super hungry and hormonal, I drank a lot of soda. I am embarrassed to admit it, but it is the truth and needs to be discussed. Once I cut it out, I found my supply increased as well. Finally, my favorite option for a supply increase is a "lactation vacation". For a period of time, typically a day, do nothing but nurse your baby. Lay in bed with baby all day and nurse as often as baby will allow. I promise you will not spoil your baby (another topic for another post). Every time you nurse, your are sending a signal to your brain to make more milk. The more you feed baby, the more you produce. Also, babies will not overeat. If they cannot handle anymore food, they will cry, letting you know they are full. If you force baby to eat, they can get sick. So follow your baby's cues and feed them as much as possible. 

7. Nursing is a wonderfully difficult reward: TRUE

As I said earlier, I never want to stop. But at the same time, I want my freedom back. I want to be able to go shoot a wedding or plan a day away without also planning times to pump and thawing breastmilk bags from the freezer. But there is literally no greater joy to experience in life than watching your child be supported from you in a way no one else can. I struggled in bonding with my baby a little at first, but nursing him completely fixed that. I get so emotional sometimes when I see how satisfied and happy Daxton is after nursing. Sometimes, it is the only thing that can calm him and help him sleep, and I don't mind one bit. Daxton has decades before him; I can spare a few months to help him receive the best nutrition he can and develop our bond even more. 

On Baby Led Weaning

So I have been receiving a LOT of interest regarding my baby-feeding methods, so I thought I should address it widely for future reference. This is my take and opinion on baby-led weaning (BLW). There are a ton of other sources to get info from regarding this method and other baby-feeding methods. The book I read and will reference is Baby-Led Weaning: The Essential Guide to Introducing Solid Foods and Helping Your Baby to Grow Up a Happy and Confident Eater by Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett.

First, I need to thank Georgia for telling me about this book and then dropping it off at my doorstep. You are so amazing and you've done so much for our little fam! Ah my mind is so excited to talk about this, I feel like this is going to be the most disorganized post, so bear with me. I am going to try to break this up a lot.

BACKSTORY
We started feeding D at 4 months. He was grabbing for our plates and succeeding because he is so dang strong! We knew he wanted food and he wanted to eat with the big kids. So we gave him purees, because that is what I thought we were supposed to do. My father-in-law would joke around asking D if he wanted some of his food when he was hungry and we were all trying to eat and we had to pass D around and eat dinner together. I was horrified at just the thought of a baby getting real food. He can't chew that! While I do think 4 months is too early to have started BLW, I didn't know it was a thing until my friend, Georgia, said something to me about it when D was 5 months, 3 weeks. I COMPLETELY changed my way of thinking and am literally never going back. BLW does not promote purees, but I actually like the way we did it, since D was early on the desire for food and clearly showing all the signs, but his stomach was not ready. I feel the purees was a good way for him to begin to explore taste. We never regarded the purees as a "meal" rather and "adventure". I think BLW is more than a method, it is a mindset.

BABY-LED WEANING?
Okay, so what the heck is baby-led weaning. It is NOT weaning your baby off anything. It is simply weaning your baby onto solid food. The "baby-led" part means that your baby is in control (for the most part). This is a method of introducing solid foods into a baby's life and allowing them to learn to feed their self. So what ever you choose to feed baby, you won't actually feed him. It goes on his highchair (or a plate if you hate yourself), and he can pick and choose what goes in his mouth, hence the term "baby-led". If you put quinoa, banana, and eggs on your baby's highchair and you notice all the banana and eggs are gone, but the quinoa is just there (probably all over the highchair), chances are baby didn't like it. But don't fret, try again! Because baby will keep wanting to explore food, he will keep tasting what you give him. If he continues to refuse quinoa every time you put it down, then he for sure isn't into it. But you know this because HE TOLD YOU. Also, BLW skips the rice cereal. I don't know about you, but I usually prefer Honey-Nut Cheerios to regular Cheerios, or BBQ chips to regular ones. As adults, we crave flavor. A baby is no different. Baby's are born with more taste buds than an adult. If rice cereal is a first food, they will come to learn of flavorless foods and prefer a bland diet. This is how BLW diversifies food for a baby and produces less picky eaters.

BABY EATS WHEN YOU EAT
BLW allows you to eat at the same time as baby so there is no hand-off, first mom eats, then dad eats. This is probably one of my favorite things now. I used to be petrified at the thought of taking D to a restaurant. When we did, we had to bring toys and pray that he wouldn't fuss, because then we would end up holding him in our lap while we tried to eat. In fact, my sister and I once went to Smoke BBQ and had to take turns feeding him while the other ate. She ended up taking him outside so he wouldn't disturb the other patrons. I felt so embarrassed! Now, we put D in a highchair and give him some of our food. Last week, I took D out and asked the server to bring us extra peppers for D to gnaw on. It was perfect! He ate, I ate, we were happy. Also, I love when people are stunned by how well he eats and behaves. When someone asks "Won't he choke, I am more than happy to explain to them that he is equipped with the knowledge to spit out his food once it gets too far back. All babies are. Babies intrinsically know how to latch onto the breast when they are born, just as they know to spit out a piece of food that they cannot swallow. This allows them to learn to chew, a complex motion if you think about it. Watching D learn all of this and figure it out brings my such joy and pride! I look forward to our meals together now. I love being able to eat with my baby. We eat breakfast in the kitchen every morning and lunch and dinner in the dining room. It is our time to spend together and as he gets older, this will already be something he is used to and it will be our norm. We will discuss life and friends and what we are doing/have done that day.

NO PUREES
What do you feed baby? Solids. Not purees. True "what Mama is eating" solids. Baby eats what you eat which allows baby to feel included. There is no mess or planning as there is with making or buying purees. You don't even have to worry about stages. Baby is capable of putting food in his own mouth. Baby will gnaw on whatever you give him. Any pieces that come off will most often be spat out. D has come to be able to chew and suck on his food enough to swallow it, but most of the time he spits it back out. When D eats peppers (I'm convinced these are his favorite) he is able to break apart pieces, but he still doesn't swallow. Choking hazard? Well, apparently babies gag reflex is closer to the front of their mouth when they are born and slowly moves back as they develop. Whether you want to trust/depend on this or not, babies automatically spit out food when they start to gag on it. The gaging can be scary at first, but watching baby learn from it is amazing! Just now, D was gnawing on an apple slice. He was able to break a piece off (he doesn't have teeth, how the heck does he do it?!) and I was SO nervous, watching him with unblinking eyes as he sucked on this bit that ended up in his mouth. Watching his eyes as he tried to figure it out was so cool. I could see his emotions and I could tell he was learning something new. He knew not to swallow it and to keep it away from the back of his throat, but he was having trouble getting it out of his mouth. He looked at me and started to cry. I took it out for him, and he put it back in! He was determined to master the apple! The key to BLW is (obviously, I should HAVE to say this) DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY UNATTENDED. Really, when your baby is eating anything baby should not be left unattended. Especially with solid food, please watch your baby. Especially because its fun!

We LOVE banana pancakes!

Banana pancakes-1 banana, 2 eggs. Mash, whisk, cook, cool, serve.

FOOD EXPLORATION
The best part; baby is STILL BREASTFEEDING! I know Daxton is getting all the nutrients he needs from me, I don't have to obsess over how much he is eating and I can allow him to decide when he is done with a meal or when he wants more. This allows food to be fun. He won't get upset when I try to feed him and he won't eat anymore. As he continues this BLW journey, he will learn that food is something that makes him feel full. He will then slowly want to breastfeed less and less and want solids more and more. Again, refer to the term "baby-led". If I have learned anything from my 6 month journey of motherhood, I have learned that life is so much easier when you follow your baby's cues. In no way am I saying do what baby says, baby is boss; I am simply imploring you to watch your baby and see what their preference is and maybe work with them. Let your baby tell you when they are ready for certain foods and they will be much easier to feed in the future!

THE MESS
The downside to BLW? Holy cow, it is SO messy! I feel terrible because of course I am the one who began our family down this BLW journey, and my oh so loving and devoted husband quickly learned how messy it is and is now, he is always ready after a meal with the broom and WetJet. We realized it would probably work in our favor to get a less bulky, easier to clean high chair and a mat for under the high chair so that messes would be a breeze to clean.

So this is my take on BLW. I know there is so much more I didn't talk about, so ask questions! I really feel like I should stress the importance of checking ingredients in foods and buying organic, especially produce, eggs, and dairy. Check out the EWG's list of top dirty foods to buy organic (https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/dirty_dozen_list.php). My family is adamant about only buying organic or not at all for the dirty dozen. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND the book I mentioned earlier for any mommas or dads wanting to venture down this road! Oh no, D is crawling now and getting into the tissue box. Gotta go. Enjoy!

On Starting Solids

My baby is growing up! Last night we had our first true trial with solids! I purchased a pouch of Plum Organics Sweet Potatoes at Target yesterday and hubby and I were just so excited to try something new! My plan is to make our own baby food, but until he is truly eating a lot of solids, we will survive on pouches, so long as they're organic and free of any additives, of course! 

So hubby and D came home from church last night, and I told Stephen that I got a pouch. He hurried up and whipped out the high chair; I don't remember the last time I saw him so excited. I told him that Daxton tried to drink out of my straw today when he grabbed my cup and put the straw in his mouth! We knew he was ready, even if we weren't. I brought in a baby spoon and we had so much fun! I think we should do smaller amounts at a time, but D really seemed to like it! We will keep on sweet potatoes for a few days, and maybe we will do avocado next! His facial expressions kill me!