On My JORD

Ah it's so nice to finally have the time to sit down and blog again. Lol kidding! Im sitting in my car while D naps in his car seat because I know he won't stay asleep while I unload him and bring him upstairs. So in the car we stay. But speaking time, I'm hosting a JORD watch giveaway! Guys, I cannot explain how much I love this watch!

Growing up, I always wanted to be a "watch person". I had friends who's fathers would have really nice watches or a beautiful watch collection. I never thought of women wearing watches even though my mom did. But she had (yeah right, has) a tendency for ending up with watches that suddenly don't work anymore, so she never spent much on one. I actually have this on my IG from way back when (before I knew how to use filters, obvs). 

So my biggest watch influence growing up was those Hello Kitty or Barbie ones you would get in a Happy Meal and never read the directions for. I recently got a Batman watch for my nephew. He asked me to set it up, and I actually read the directions. Guys, those watches do a lot! 

Then I met my husband. He and his father are very into watches. Even though my husband doesn't wear a watch now (it would be destroyed in his line of work), he really appreciates a nice watch. And my father-in-law? Well,his watch collection might make some people jealous. So I wanted a nice watch. But I was still young and uneducated, so I set my eyes on a Betsey Johnson watch. It quickly discolored and broke. I really like watches with big faces but that we're still simple, but the face would be too big or the watch too heavy. And I used my phone so much, I would forget to look at my watch anyway. 

Once I had a baby, everything changed. I started needing to tell time more often. And sometimes I would lose or forget my phone somewhere around the house. I started putting up more clocks around the house. But the need was still not met. I knew I needed a watch but I didn't want to spend the time shopping around for one I wouldn't quickly discard and I didn't want to spend the money on a super fancy one. Along came JORD. Their watches are made from wood and they are super lightweight. And they may not be waterproof, but I have definitely treated the line and come across victorious. And of course I wanted the big, round face(The Frankie Series). They recommended that if you have a small wrist to get the smaller version of their round face line (The Frankie 35). They make a line specifically for people like me who want the big face but can't handle it on their tiny wrist! And the color! Oh my sweet goodness, the colors are perfection. I chose the Zebrawood with Champagne (http://www.woodwatches.com/series/frankie-35/zebrawood-and-champagne/#littleappellnest) but all the colors are magical! My second fave is the Zebrawood and Navy. I have gotten so many compliments on it and I've only had it a week and a half! Make sure to enter the giveaway for your chance to win $100 toward your own JORD watch. If you don't win, you will still get $25 off! So really, you win no matter what!

Now I wear my watch everyday from when I wake to when I sleep. Hubby had to take it off for me the other day because I almost fell asleep with it on! I find it is the perfect accessory to my minimalist lifestyle. The only bad thing about my JORD is that D finds it as attractive as I do and he always tries to eat it! If Hubby ever has a career change! I will buy him a JORD watch in a heartbeat!

On Breastfeeding and the Unknown

I am currently on a month-long vacation in California visiting friends and family. Daxton and I flew out solo and are braving our first vacation just the two of us. Daxton is meeting a lot of new people and these people are interested in Daxton's routines and behaviors. After being asked about his development, particularly with food and nursing, I felt it was necessary to begin to discuss some of the myths regarding breastfeeding. I cannot believe that women have been nursing since the beginning of time, yet still do not understand the benefits and necessity of breastmilk. Note: While I do believe in the power of breastmilk, I am unfortunately all too aware of the difficulties some moms deal with when trying to breastfeed and that it is not the best option for all families, so ultimately I believe "fed is best".

1. Babies get all their nutrients from breastmilk: TRUE

Babies need nothing else apart from their mother's milk or formula to survive the first year of life. Nothing else will provide the nutrition babies need for their constantly growing and developing bodies. Breastmilk changes based on babies needs. Research (that I am too lazy to find again, but you can look it up yourself or take my word for it) has shown that a mother's milk will change when her baby is sick to help heal the baby. However, it is important that the mother eat well. Mother's should eat well no matter what, but especially when what you put into your body translates into what the baby puts in his. Take care of yourselves, ladies!

2. Baby needs water to stay hydrated: FALSE

Babies should not have water until they are 6 months, and even then they don't need it. Some pediatricians might disagree and say a little is okay at 4 months. The reason for this is baby's kidneys do not fully develop until around 6 months. Water will not be able to properly digest in the body and baby can get very sick and in some cases die from water intoxication (look it up). At 6 months, some doctors will suggest that baby can drink 1-2 ounces a day, especially if you live in a warm environment. In most cases, this is not necessary at all. Mama's breastmilk will keep baby hydrated AND full. Our bodies are mostly made up of water, so imagine all the water going to baby from mom. Don't forget to keep mamas hydrated! We need to keep our water percentage up so that we can properly feed baby! Our pediatrician did recommend to us that Daxton drinks water to help with his constipation, but that would be a circumstance in which we allow ourselves to do something we know is going to help him rather than hurt him, especially knowing he prefers to nurse anyway.

3. Baby should be eating three meals a day: FALSE

I am surprised at how many times I've said that Daxton is hungry and people ask me what he can eat. Uhh, breastmilk all the way! We are journeying through baby-led weaning, so Daxton does "eat meals" but he doesn't eat for nutrients or to fulfill his hunger. Solid food is an adventure for him and he is learning mealtimes and tastes and textures. I was also shocked at how many times I had to explain to people that Daxton doesn't eat meals, he nurses. He will nurse according to his schedule. I give him food when Stephen and I eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner to teach him the concept of mealtime, but that doesn't mean he is receiving all the nutrients he needs or that it is even a healthy option. Someone asked me if Daxton ate lunch and I thought, "Well he ate a little bit of food when I ate, but I think they're asking if he was fed, so he nursed, but that wasn't the question." So I had to explain that Daxton doesn't "do lunch". He might ingest some food, but it doesn't classify as lunch, or not in the sense of fulfilling a hunger halfway through the day like adults or older children do. So no he didn't eat lunch, but also yes, he did. 

4. If baby doesn't latch to the bottle or nipple, he must not be hungry: FALSE

I don't know about other mamas, but my baby has always been EXTREMELY curious. If someone talks, he will unlatch. If the TV is on, he won't want to eat. If he knows he can be playing, he won't want to stop to eat. It is mom's job to make sure your child is properly fed. Create an environment that will be conducive to a calm and relaxed state for baby to enjoy nursing/a bottle. This might mean turning off the TV, speaking in hushed or relaxed tones, turning off a light or closing the curtains, and in our case, turning off the ceiling fan. If this doesn't work, don't force your baby to eat, but continue to offer food in the form of breastmilk or a bottle. Baby will be hungry and given the right environment, he WILL eat. 

5. Breastfeeding will happen naturally: FALSE

I cannot emphasize enough how false this is. Babies are born with the reflex to latch, therefore breast feeding will happen naturally for baby. Mamas need to be much more prepared. I was extremely unprepared. There were things I could have spent more time reading about or researching that would have make my journey so much easier, but instead I assumed it would just happen and didn't bother to spend much time on this concept. It definitely did not happen naturally for me and I had multiple anxiety attacks in the hospital. I almost gave up half a dozen times in the ensuing months, but continues to push through until I was finally able to fix the tongue tie and wean off the nipple shields t four months. Ever since, I never want to stop breastfeeding. Prego mamas, do not skim past this subject; do your research and take classes!

6. You can increase your supply: TRUE

There have been many occasions that I have felt like my supply was dwindling. I would freak out and jump online to research how to increase my supply immediately. I was not about to empty my wallet on nutrition bars designed for that purpose and did not feel like investing in a ton of ingredients that might help. There are certain foods called"galactagogues" that are rumored to help with a mother's milk supply. There are teas that combine few or many of these herbs and foods. I figured I could try that because I drink tea regularly as is. I can definitely say that helped. Another option is cutting out caffeine. After I gave birth and was super hungry and hormonal, I drank a lot of soda. I am embarrassed to admit it, but it is the truth and needs to be discussed. Once I cut it out, I found my supply increased as well. Finally, my favorite option for a supply increase is a "lactation vacation". For a period of time, typically a day, do nothing but nurse your baby. Lay in bed with baby all day and nurse as often as baby will allow. I promise you will not spoil your baby (another topic for another post). Every time you nurse, your are sending a signal to your brain to make more milk. The more you feed baby, the more you produce. Also, babies will not overeat. If they cannot handle anymore food, they will cry, letting you know they are full. If you force baby to eat, they can get sick. So follow your baby's cues and feed them as much as possible. 

7. Nursing is a wonderfully difficult reward: TRUE

As I said earlier, I never want to stop. But at the same time, I want my freedom back. I want to be able to go shoot a wedding or plan a day away without also planning times to pump and thawing breastmilk bags from the freezer. But there is literally no greater joy to experience in life than watching your child be supported from you in a way no one else can. I struggled in bonding with my baby a little at first, but nursing him completely fixed that. I get so emotional sometimes when I see how satisfied and happy Daxton is after nursing. Sometimes, it is the only thing that can calm him and help him sleep, and I don't mind one bit. Daxton has decades before him; I can spare a few months to help him receive the best nutrition he can and develop our bond even more. 

On A Day in LA with Baby Daxton

Ever since I moved from CA to NC, I kept tabs on the places that have opened or I didn't get to go to that I could visit when I am in LA. My sister always asks where I want to go and plans some days with those adventures and a few other she thinks we might enjoy. This trip is no different except that we got to plan to bring an extra little body along. Daxton spent the day yesterday going from Malibu to Westwood to Downtown to Koreatown. He loved the food at Malibu Farms Cafe, took in the sights at the Getty Villa, made some new friends, slept through an In-N-Out drive thru, attempted pictures in front of the wings, and really wanted mine and my sister's Korean food, which he didn't get. He only fussed a bit on the two hour drive to Malibu (should've been 50 minutes or less), a bit in the car here or there, and a bit on the way home. I am going to deduce that fussing was due to his front bottom teeth cutting and wanting to be out of the car on another adventure. I love that I have a little buddy to adventure with me! Thank you CC for planning such a fun day!

On Babies at the Beach

I love the beach! I grew up in Southern California and I definitely took the beach for granted. I loathed being covered in sand, hated dealing with the parking situation, despised the salt taste that got stuck in your mouth, and always felt so dirty and anxious. After being in North Carolina for 3 years, I am realizing I really miss those things. I don't have a beach 20 minutes away, but 3 hours away. I don't get to go whenever I feel like it. So I knew when I booked my flight home with Daxton, the beach was my number one priority, equal to In-N-Out. 

Sunday was my mom's birthday. We had planned to go blueberry picking, but that season was over. Then we were going to go to the flower fields, but they were out of season. We decided it was beach time. A few years ago we had gone paddle boarding as a family at a beach my sister called "Baby Powder Beach". Turns out it is actually called Baby Beach. We decided it would be the perfect beach for D; soft sand, calm waters, and free parking! 

When my family goes to the beach, it's an experience. There are so many things that go with us. But there were items we brought that we definitely couldn't have been without. First, our Gathre mat that goes with us everywhere (https://gathre.com/collections/highchair-mat/products/tannin-highchair-mat)! It provided a place for Daxton to sit and play that wasn’t completely covered in sand (though it basically was by the end of the trip). Second, our Shadezilla beach cabana (https://www.walmart.com/ip/Shadezilla-Deluxe-Lightweight-2-Person-Tent-with-Carry-Bag/126161591) provided much needed UV protection for my fair skinned child who actually has tanned very well, thanks to me of course! Finally, my mom purchased one of those huge plastic pools which we brought with us and filled with freshwater so that Daxton could have his semi-independent water fun while not inhaling saltwater or braving the dangers of the ocean. Even though these items may not be the easiest to transport, they certainly made the beach a lot easier, which mean more fun! All-in-all, Daxton loved everything about the beach, especially the people watching!

On Gender Identity

So the other day, Hubby was loading D in the car and I was in the passenger seat. I heard the woman from the car next to us ask if D was a boy or a girl. Stephen politely responded and finished buckling D in. When he joined me in the driver's seat, I told him, "Man, I really hate it when people ask that." He asked me why because he didn't mind answering, so I thought about it. I didn't really mind answering either, but I knew it was something deeper. The issue is two-fold: the identity factor and the societal factor.

First of all, D looks like a boy. To me (and my friends and family) he has some distinctive boy features. But that isn't the issue. For the first question to be about his gender is to prioritize that over anything else. His being a boy is more important than his name or age. A more appropriate question might be "What is their name?" which will usually tell you if they are a boy or girl. And if it doesn't, what is so important about a stranger knowing the gender of my baby? Once that becomes an important identity factor, it can become easy to adhere to society's "rules" about that specific gender, which leads me to the second factor.

God dictates gender. Some of you may disagree and that is fine, but I believe that it is up to God to form us as He desires. He gave me a male baby, and he will always be a male. But society decides HOW that gender is defined (http://thebringitonmom.blogspot.com/2017/03/on-gender-stereotyping.html). If a girl is going through a phase when she likes race cars and playing baseball or whatever typical "boy" interests are, it doesn't mean she identifies as a boy; she is just a girl who likes race cars and baseball. If D decides he likes princesses and playing with my makeup, I'm not going to jump to the conclusion that he was supposed to have been born a girl, because God would have handled that. I will support him whether he wants to be a drummer, a football player, a broadway star, or a ballerina. I will tell him that boys can dance just as well as girls and girls can play baseball just as well as boys. If D is wearing his amber necklace and a bonnet, I am not dressing him like a girl. I hope Daxton never feels like  he can't do something because of how he was born. And he doesn't need to change; he is perfect how God made him. 

No person is going to tell him he can't do something because he is a boy, and if they do, well they will really regret it after talking to me. When I was younger, my family went on a camping trip with other families from our church. I was DEEP in my tomboy phase, climbing trees and running around with the boys. One of the dads was leading a hike, and I went along. When we got to the end, the tip of the mountain we were hiking, I was told I couldn't go all the way to the top because I was a girl. I was dumbfounded and still scarred to this day. Obviously, Dax will know he can't go in the girls bathroom, dressing room, etc., but anything society deems just for girls or just for boys will not be a thing in our home. I like dressing Dax in gender/color neutral clothing, and I definitely regret painting his room blue. I am so excited to see what truly interests him.

On Baby Led Weaning

So I have been receiving a LOT of interest regarding my baby-feeding methods, so I thought I should address it widely for future reference. This is my take and opinion on baby-led weaning (BLW). There are a ton of other sources to get info from regarding this method and other baby-feeding methods. The book I read and will reference is Baby-Led Weaning: The Essential Guide to Introducing Solid Foods and Helping Your Baby to Grow Up a Happy and Confident Eater by Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett.

First, I need to thank Georgia for telling me about this book and then dropping it off at my doorstep. You are so amazing and you've done so much for our little fam! Ah my mind is so excited to talk about this, I feel like this is going to be the most disorganized post, so bear with me. I am going to try to break this up a lot.

BACKSTORY
We started feeding D at 4 months. He was grabbing for our plates and succeeding because he is so dang strong! We knew he wanted food and he wanted to eat with the big kids. So we gave him purees, because that is what I thought we were supposed to do. My father-in-law would joke around asking D if he wanted some of his food when he was hungry and we were all trying to eat and we had to pass D around and eat dinner together. I was horrified at just the thought of a baby getting real food. He can't chew that! While I do think 4 months is too early to have started BLW, I didn't know it was a thing until my friend, Georgia, said something to me about it when D was 5 months, 3 weeks. I COMPLETELY changed my way of thinking and am literally never going back. BLW does not promote purees, but I actually like the way we did it, since D was early on the desire for food and clearly showing all the signs, but his stomach was not ready. I feel the purees was a good way for him to begin to explore taste. We never regarded the purees as a "meal" rather and "adventure". I think BLW is more than a method, it is a mindset.

BABY-LED WEANING?
Okay, so what the heck is baby-led weaning. It is NOT weaning your baby off anything. It is simply weaning your baby onto solid food. The "baby-led" part means that your baby is in control (for the most part). This is a method of introducing solid foods into a baby's life and allowing them to learn to feed their self. So what ever you choose to feed baby, you won't actually feed him. It goes on his highchair (or a plate if you hate yourself), and he can pick and choose what goes in his mouth, hence the term "baby-led". If you put quinoa, banana, and eggs on your baby's highchair and you notice all the banana and eggs are gone, but the quinoa is just there (probably all over the highchair), chances are baby didn't like it. But don't fret, try again! Because baby will keep wanting to explore food, he will keep tasting what you give him. If he continues to refuse quinoa every time you put it down, then he for sure isn't into it. But you know this because HE TOLD YOU. Also, BLW skips the rice cereal. I don't know about you, but I usually prefer Honey-Nut Cheerios to regular Cheerios, or BBQ chips to regular ones. As adults, we crave flavor. A baby is no different. Baby's are born with more taste buds than an adult. If rice cereal is a first food, they will come to learn of flavorless foods and prefer a bland diet. This is how BLW diversifies food for a baby and produces less picky eaters.

BABY EATS WHEN YOU EAT
BLW allows you to eat at the same time as baby so there is no hand-off, first mom eats, then dad eats. This is probably one of my favorite things now. I used to be petrified at the thought of taking D to a restaurant. When we did, we had to bring toys and pray that he wouldn't fuss, because then we would end up holding him in our lap while we tried to eat. In fact, my sister and I once went to Smoke BBQ and had to take turns feeding him while the other ate. She ended up taking him outside so he wouldn't disturb the other patrons. I felt so embarrassed! Now, we put D in a highchair and give him some of our food. Last week, I took D out and asked the server to bring us extra peppers for D to gnaw on. It was perfect! He ate, I ate, we were happy. Also, I love when people are stunned by how well he eats and behaves. When someone asks "Won't he choke, I am more than happy to explain to them that he is equipped with the knowledge to spit out his food once it gets too far back. All babies are. Babies intrinsically know how to latch onto the breast when they are born, just as they know to spit out a piece of food that they cannot swallow. This allows them to learn to chew, a complex motion if you think about it. Watching D learn all of this and figure it out brings my such joy and pride! I look forward to our meals together now. I love being able to eat with my baby. We eat breakfast in the kitchen every morning and lunch and dinner in the dining room. It is our time to spend together and as he gets older, this will already be something he is used to and it will be our norm. We will discuss life and friends and what we are doing/have done that day.

NO PUREES
What do you feed baby? Solids. Not purees. True "what Mama is eating" solids. Baby eats what you eat which allows baby to feel included. There is no mess or planning as there is with making or buying purees. You don't even have to worry about stages. Baby is capable of putting food in his own mouth. Baby will gnaw on whatever you give him. Any pieces that come off will most often be spat out. D has come to be able to chew and suck on his food enough to swallow it, but most of the time he spits it back out. When D eats peppers (I'm convinced these are his favorite) he is able to break apart pieces, but he still doesn't swallow. Choking hazard? Well, apparently babies gag reflex is closer to the front of their mouth when they are born and slowly moves back as they develop. Whether you want to trust/depend on this or not, babies automatically spit out food when they start to gag on it. The gaging can be scary at first, but watching baby learn from it is amazing! Just now, D was gnawing on an apple slice. He was able to break a piece off (he doesn't have teeth, how the heck does he do it?!) and I was SO nervous, watching him with unblinking eyes as he sucked on this bit that ended up in his mouth. Watching his eyes as he tried to figure it out was so cool. I could see his emotions and I could tell he was learning something new. He knew not to swallow it and to keep it away from the back of his throat, but he was having trouble getting it out of his mouth. He looked at me and started to cry. I took it out for him, and he put it back in! He was determined to master the apple! The key to BLW is (obviously, I should HAVE to say this) DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY UNATTENDED. Really, when your baby is eating anything baby should not be left unattended. Especially with solid food, please watch your baby. Especially because its fun!

We LOVE banana pancakes!

Banana pancakes-1 banana, 2 eggs. Mash, whisk, cook, cool, serve.

FOOD EXPLORATION
The best part; baby is STILL BREASTFEEDING! I know Daxton is getting all the nutrients he needs from me, I don't have to obsess over how much he is eating and I can allow him to decide when he is done with a meal or when he wants more. This allows food to be fun. He won't get upset when I try to feed him and he won't eat anymore. As he continues this BLW journey, he will learn that food is something that makes him feel full. He will then slowly want to breastfeed less and less and want solids more and more. Again, refer to the term "baby-led". If I have learned anything from my 6 month journey of motherhood, I have learned that life is so much easier when you follow your baby's cues. In no way am I saying do what baby says, baby is boss; I am simply imploring you to watch your baby and see what their preference is and maybe work with them. Let your baby tell you when they are ready for certain foods and they will be much easier to feed in the future!

THE MESS
The downside to BLW? Holy cow, it is SO messy! I feel terrible because of course I am the one who began our family down this BLW journey, and my oh so loving and devoted husband quickly learned how messy it is and is now, he is always ready after a meal with the broom and WetJet. We realized it would probably work in our favor to get a less bulky, easier to clean high chair and a mat for under the high chair so that messes would be a breeze to clean.

So this is my take on BLW. I know there is so much more I didn't talk about, so ask questions! I really feel like I should stress the importance of checking ingredients in foods and buying organic, especially produce, eggs, and dairy. Check out the EWG's list of top dirty foods to buy organic (https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/dirty_dozen_list.php). My family is adamant about only buying organic or not at all for the dirty dozen. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND the book I mentioned earlier for any mommas or dads wanting to venture down this road! Oh no, D is crawling now and getting into the tissue box. Gotta go. Enjoy!